The last straw ...

31st December 2011

2011-12-31T00:01:00.000+08:00

“There’s only one thing that matters: companionship."

- Play The Game

The dog came running into my room while I was having my dinner today night .
He jumped up onto the table using his front legs , and I pushed him off firmly .
Little did I expect him to lose footing , and his jaw knocked onto the corner of the table with a loud "thud" .
I panicked , & quickly checked on him

He didn't budged , he wasn't angry . He just looked at me with those wide eyes .
I'm glad he's fine .

There are some traits in life that we see in persons .
Somewhere along the line of caring , faithfulness , and honesty .
But almost 2 years with Toufu made me realised what a trait a dog has that could have been perfect , if it were in human .

Yes , you may say he would be terrible being a human .
Following everyone around , pooing & peeing in public , barking , and furthermore , he can't speak .
I've seen it ,
In fact , my dog was one of the most unfriendliest dog to strangers , almost putting me to shame when he never fails to bark at passing strangers .
But I've seen a side of him that no one does .
And truth to be told , I believe it is apparent in all dogs .

I could explain tons and tons of traits ,
But what made him benefit is "live in the moment" attitude .
He bears no grudges , he holds no anger .
Noticed he didn't reacted angrily when he knocked against the table . I was the one who pushed him off .
But trust me , if he were to be a talking dog , he wouldn't even remember it 10 minutes later .
It's a "Let bygones be bygones" mentality , or the "Forgive and forget" phrase that seems ever so difficult to embrace in human life .
In fact , I did many things to him that would put any human to instant rage .
He didn't .
He didn't make me look like a bad owner when I did mistakes .
He just accept my touch of apology , and move on like it never happened .
Man's best friend , he's often relate to .
But to me , he's definitely my best companion .
Yes , he couldn't give advice when I need any .
But the fact that he could be ever so happy just simply to be with you , and his forward looking attitude makes him stand out beyond the scope of my view in life .

"Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

- Why Dogs Don't Live Long

He taught me things .
And the purpose of this post is to pass on what I've learnt to the rest .

In the coming year , perhaps , just perhaps , live life with a little more of an open mind.
Forgiving people and living in the moment , could just make your life that much happier .

24th December 2011

2011-12-24T23:37:00.002+08:00

It's the eve of Christmas .
How are you guys preparing to start off Christmas after midnight ?

I ain't no celebrator of Christmas , as my parents aren't used to the custom .
"We're not Christian" , so they say .

So on and on without Christmas I am .
But it might as well turn out to be a blessing in disguise , I'm currently broke (its not a very good thing to say during festive periods, I know)

Nonetheless , a Merry Christmas to everyone ! (:

21st November 2011

2011-11-21T18:12:00.003+08:00

"Things will get worse before they get better, but when they do, remember who put you down & who helped you up."

I have my fair share of ups and downs in life ,
And of course , some put me down , and some helped me up .
This is dedicated to those , who helped me up .
Those whom I've never spoken publicly of my gratitude ,
& those who stood always stood by , by my side .

-------------------------------------------------------------------

How many friends you have in life ?
Does it really matter , the quantity ?
So they say , "Its the quality that counts , not the quantity".
& what Standard Chartered puts it perfectly , "Sometimes what counts in life , cannot be counted"
Perhaps this doesn't apply in the business world , where your social networking is vital in every aspect .
But how about in life ?
I am glad I have friends , quality friends .
& this , in particular , is dedicated to those who dressed in suits not dresses , in boots not high heels .
'Cause they are the one who doesn't stand in the spotlight , but those who helped me up without hesitant . True friends .

I am not one who speaks about his problem often , if not , every time .
Instead , I am those who keeps it , the one who needs no extra attention because of his problems .
Unless it is beyond my tolerance , I would only say it to those I really trust .
But there is this group of friends who were always there .
They were my friends when I was at my deepest point , and they didn't failed to do what a friend needs to do .

Don't get it ?
Look ,
I wasn't the guy who speaks his problem publicly ,
But here is this group of guys who do it the way a man would do .
They didn't do anything .
Strange as it may be ,
They are a funny bunch of guys ,
Who never failed to make you smile on every meeting .
It lighten my mood up with a pinch of laughter , and closeness when needed .

There were times when I almost lost everyone else who were close to me ,
& when I said "almost" , it was because it was them who stayed .
I wondered how my life would be , if they weren't a bunch of friends this close to me .

Don't misunderstand me ,
Believe me , when I need an advice , they would always be readily available to me .
They may sense something wasn't right by the way I post on blogger , twitter , or facebook .
But they didn't probe , and when they do , they do it right .

I'm glad I know them since Secondary School , where people in my life come and go . And at some moment , all left . Except family and those above-mentioned .

It wasn't a typical man way to speak openly about such gratitude ,
& if it weren't for this blog , I wouldn't have done this .

I'm glad I have them ,
They may not know who they are ,
But they would've guessed it .
They may not view this blog often ,
But believe me , they would occasionally .

A dedication , for those who didn't leave .

18th October 2011

2011-10-18T12:17:00.002+08:00

Nothing to do really .
Sitting in front of a laptop in the kitchen with basically nothing .
Comp covered with plastic .
Guess what ? Yes , air-con installation .
Apparently the old one spoilt ( Hey ! The one in my room was working well , only my dad and sis's room :( )

So yeah , I'm here .
First time coming into blogger with technically nothing to blog about .
Bored .
Things happened and things happened .
Complications and complications .
But I'm tired to elaborate about myself .
Let it be ~ Let it be ~ *starts singing*
Haha .

25th September 2011

2011-09-25T00:56:00.002+08:00

It's 12:57am in Shanghai ,
Just came back to hostel not long ago .

1 hour ago ,
I was taking off my contact lens , preparing to bathe .

After a hectic day of fun , joy laughter , and not forgetting lots of shopping .
I was exhausted , & I can't wait to bathe .
It was when I misplaced my contact .

I remembered placing my contact lens into my , what do you call that ? The thing where you put your contact lens in .
After taking out both contacts ,
Perhaps lucky , or sixth sense , I checked again to ensure that the contact lens is there .

To my amusement , it was not .
And I fiddled and fumbled trying to find it .
To cut the long story short ,
I found it after 10 minutes .

It was a moment of happiness , and I went to bathe immediately .

The sense of happiness continued during the bath ,
But a sudden thought came to my mind .

The contact lens was mine to start with ,
So why feel happy when I found what was mine ?

So what am I heading in this post ?

In life , we believe that some things are ours , and only ours .
We believe that it wouldn't be lost , much less being owned by somebody else .
This led to complacency and taking things for granted .
Tracking back to my case , I didn't thought I would lose my contact lens .
In fact , it was my last pair .

In reality ,
Nothing is really ours .
Your boyfriend , your girlfriend ? Your friends ?
I mean , they can be loyal to you , truthful to you .
But its a mutual continuation , commitment , faithfulness that keeps the relationship going .
And finally , the concept of not taking them for granted .
Because if you did , they may never be "yours" .

Its 1:18am ,
I blogged because I have the feel to .
But my tiredness is getting over me .

Heading to bed .
But I would like to leave a message .

Never take anything for granted .

P.S : Goodnight .

17th September 2011

2011-09-17T18:27:00.003+08:00

Didn't know why you crossed my mind recently .
From the week before I came China ,
To today , I'm in China .

I remembered the night before I go ,
I wrote a long message to you , long enough to reach the message limit .
Your reply was no more than a sentence .
Looking back at my message , you made me look like a fool .

We were not couple ,
Yet we're so close to one another , we're siblings . Be it godsister and godbrother .
My Secondary School friends gone through with me the stage when we were close .
So they know how much you meant to me .

But strangely ,
You were right .
No one could understand our kinship , unless those who witnessed it .
I tried explaining to my Polytechnic friends ,
But their response was a weird expression , together with "I don't know why you would want to have an unofficial godsister/godbrother"
I dismissed it as their perspective .
But this is what made our kinship so special , I guess .

No one , no one , could understand the depth .

2 years just isn't enough for me to forget someone whom I've been so close with , for 5 years .

But I will ,
'Cause I know I'm not missing you .
I'm missing the memories , the closeness , the kinship , the stupid little things I made , and the girl whom you used to be .

18 August 2011

2011-08-18T22:07:00.003+08:00

Chicago - Look Away

When you called me up this morning,
Told me 'bout the new love you found,
I'm said "I'm happy for you,
I'm really happy for you."
Found someone else,
I guess I won't be coming 'round.
I guess it's over, baby;
It's really over, baby, whoa...
And from what you said
I know you've gotten over me;
It'll never be the way it used to be.
So if it's gotta be this way,
Don't worry, baby, I can take the news okay.

[Chorus:]
But if you see me walking by,
And the tears are in my eyes,
Look away, baby, look away.
If we meet on the streets someday,
And I don't know what to say,
Look away, baby, look away.
Don't look at me;
I don't want you to see me this way.

When we both agreed as lovers,
We were better off as friends,
That's how it had to be,
Yeah, that's how it had to be.
I tell you I'm fine
But sometimes I just pretend;
Wish you were holding me,
Wish you were still holding me, whoa...
I just never thought,
That I would be replaced so soon;
I wasn't prepared to hear those words from you.
I know I wanted to be free;
Yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be.

When you called me up this morning,
Told me 'bout the new love you found.
I said "I'm happy for you,
I'm really happy for you."

I'm happy for you ,
I'm really happy for you .

5th July 2010

2011-07-05T23:41:00.011+08:00

Wandering in the streets ,
Even in a modern , seemingly rich country like Singapore ,
Poverty exist , albeit less serious .
Ever seen an old lady picking up trash cans from the rubbish bin ?
"Nevermind them , they can earn a lot through collecting each cans" , so some would say .
But does it , earn more than what others may be earning , then ?

Marginal utility , so the economics educate us .
The first drumstick when you're young , seems heavenly .
But as it goes on , the satisfaction that the second drumstick we ate , can never be compared to the same amount of satisfaction of the first drumstick we had. Maybe , not even close .
Ever held a girl's hand , and felt like "wooots ~ !"
That's probably your first time , am I right ?
Do you do that during your subsequent experience ?
Perhaps you might , but it dies off slowly with each and every experience .

It goes the same for us , humans .
Ever work under the hot sun , constructing buildings like how the foreign workers did , those that we discriminate ever so often ?
Treat them a meal , and they would be ever so grateful .
Ever seen a lady with branded bags such as Prada , along with an LV wallet , hands jiggling with shiny white Cartier Ballon Bleu watch ?
Treat them a meal , and they will complain it isn't "classy" , what "lousy" food it is , and only "dogs" eat that .

Why ?
How often does a foreign workers enjoy a free meal ?
Lest , how often do they even enjoy a meal at a restaurant .
Probably , never .
How often does a "high-class" lady eat a restaurant ?
Countless .
Send them to a coffee shop , and they complain about every little tiny bitty things that they see .
On the contrary , what if you bring those foreign workers to a restaurant as high-class as the lady may go for every single meal ?
You'll see smile wider than you can ever imagine .
You'd be amazed his face hasn't cracked .

It's often a tragedy .
Why doesn't people treasure ?
The two examples are those that are extreme .
But what about us , about me , about you ?
Yes , it applies to you , too .
Have you ever thought how lucky you are , using a computer now , reading my blog ?
Have you ever thought how wonderful it is , to have your own homes ?
Because , there are people out there , without proper shelter , without any gadget that you own .
Ipads , iphones , computers , laptops , HD LCD LED 3D television ,
But we never seem to be satisfied .
Hands up for anyone who wanted a new earpieces , a new television , a new bed , a new socks , a new shoes , a new clothes , a new pants , even you have one , or (in cases of clothes and pants) , enough ?
I for one , I am .

But its time , to treasure .
Think about those who live a life of poverty .
Even at a meal in a nearby coffee shop ,
Stop complaining for the lack of air-cons .
At least you get to enjoy meals , while others might be starving of hunger .

A teacher once said to my class ,
"When you wake up one day , try waking up , happily . Don't grumble , and say "yay ! Its a new day !""
The instant reaction in my mind was ,
"What the hell ? "
But he isn't wrong , in any ways .
Do you ever treasure , the simplest of things , waking up ?
Because while you wake up to another fresh morning ,
Some don't .
& they never lived to tell how much they missed the feeling of waking up .
Why do I trust the teacher so much , you may ask .
He once said ,
"Have you ever wondered motivators like Adam Khoo , teaches you EVERYTHING ? If they do , what do they do with their job ? They would be overtaken . So , some people ask me , why do I teach you everything that I can teach ? Well , I said , by the time you guys have grown up , I would be old enough to retire . You won't be competing with me anymore . "
He often live by the slogan ,
"Humans are born good , but society ruins them ."

Indeed , society .
We live in a society where every thing is taken for granted .
Even , even our closest person .
You do the thinking .
When was the last time you treated them well ? Helping to do household ? Cooking ?

If you're rich , don't despise the poor .
Don't complain taking bus rides instead of taxis .
Because some may never had taken a taxi ever so often .
Don't complain traveling to Malaysia instead of London .
Because some may never get to travel at all .
Don't complain not being able to have a birthday party during your birthday .
Because some don't even have cakes .

So next time ,

Treasure the feeling of holding your girlfriend hands every single time , like its the first .
Treasure the feeling of being doted on , like you've never been doted before .
Treasure every single one of them in your life , like you will keep them forever .

"Love like you've never been hurt before . Dance like no one is watching . "

Tomorrow during your way to school ,
Perhaps ,
Stop complaining about the long bus rides , and appreciate the thought that you need not travel by foot .
Stop complaining about going to school , and start loving it , because some don't even have a chance to learn .
Stop complaining about the air cons not being cold enough , at least , it made your life easier than studying outdoors .

You may never going to understand the importance of these seemingly unimportant , insignificant part of our life ,
Simply because , we're more well-off then those of less privileged .

Without realising ,
You might be living a life , that someone out there ... out there .. can only dream of .

28th June 2011

2011-06-28T14:40:00.003+08:00

Continued .

Remember the way I spoke about "giving and taking" ?
And not putting your whole soul , care , in it ?

I started to be very cautious .
I don't want to be that annoying bastard that pissed you off with all my questions .
"Where are you ?"
"Are you okay ?"
"I'll be there for you alright ?"
I want to be the guy that give and take .
I don't want to stand too close .

& perhaps , I might have overdone it .
Sadly , it was my girlfriend , alright , my ex .

I wasn't really fully committed to the relationship .
I mean , if I do , I would be caring too much .
I didn't call her much ,
Perhaps time to sleep ? Or times when I have pissed her off ?
In the past , I made an effort to be by my phone when I'm texting .
But this time , I merely checked for reply , and less frequently .
Leading to my replies delaying by 5 ~ 15 minutes .
Give & take , I guess .
Don't give it all , I thought .

"You thought , I think , who confirm ? " The army boys would say it .
Yeah , it didn't pans out well .
We weren't as close as other couples were , in their first month .
I love her , yes .
Showed her , care for her , call her often , meeting her every 2 or 3 days , play games with her , spend quality time with her , studying with her , bonding with her family , take her out to places where I wished I would take her to , meeting with my family , showing her to my friends , no .
That's 1 vs 12 .
I believe the latter won .

& true enough , there were tonnes of miscommunication between us .
We don't seems to understand one another .
Unlike those who I can easily catch sign of sadness , sign of hint .
I can't catch any , of hers .
Unlike those who I can cheer up easily ,
I made her felt worst .
That was the most guilty 2 months of my life .

And sadly ,
She's the one that I thought would be perfect for me .
She has all the attributes I want in a girlfriend .
Cheerful , hyper , fun and easy to talk to , shares her problems , and as a bonus , she's pretty .
Yes , she deny the last part all the time .
But I've never stopped saying that .

Perhaps it was a right decision that she choose to leave ,
We just couldn't understand one another .
Everything that I tried my best ,
It didn't worked out .
Perhaps she did the right thing by leaving ,
I didn't give as much as a boyfriend would .

Lesson learnt ?
Give more , but never give too much .
In other words , give in moderation .
I learnt these through the hard way .

These lessons learnt will not stop you from being yourself .
It makes you , a better person .

And if I were to be given a chance again ,
I would do things right for the two persons who meant a lot a lot , to me .

25th June 2011

2011-06-25T18:15:00.009+08:00

People you meet changes your life , do you agree ?

I do .
In fact , this is one of the very few post where I get personal .
This will be a treat for those who likes me to elaborate on my own ,
And a new taste for people who likes my usual , narrative , general post .

In the past ,
I used to keep everything to myself .
I mean , I am a different person ,
My mood may be ruined , but I would never affect someone else that isn't the one who ruined my mood .
I had fun bottling it up , I mean , there won't be people who consistently reminds me , "Are you alright ?" , "Hey , hows your quarrel between ****?*

There are exceptions , in times when I couldn't handle it , when its just an overflowing bottle .

Recently , or instead ,
From 2 years ago , I began to share my problems .
With some , of course . A few , okay , just one or two .

Back to the topic ,
I do feel a bit sad , a bit .. I don't know how to describe the feeling .
Its just .. I still haven't got over the problem that I had less than a month ago .
She left , before I had chance to make up for everything .

There are two people who came and left in my life .
And it happens with a hefty lesson .

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being someone who plays online game at a very young age ,
I am able to spark off a written conversation with strangers easily .
Being a nature of myself ,
I love to listen to others , rather than to talk .
I'm a good listener , so they say .
And that may be why I can get close to girls easily .

That's how I get very close to a girl I met five years ago ..
It may be because she's the one that perfectly matches my attributes .
She share her problems , and that could be never-ending .
She felt sad at times , even cry , and able to call you at that time .
I mean , I never had such close relation with someone before , a girl .
She's not my girlfriend , just , close friends .
Or you're slightly more updated and less sensitive to "godbrother,sister,mother,etc" , yes , we're god-siblings .
I often heard people saying ..
"Don't fall too deep , give & take , give & take"
"Don't care too much , don't over-care"

I often wondered .
What ?
If you care for a person , care with your utmost effort .
I mean , if you don't , what's the point of caring ?
As my brother often say ,

"Ni yao zuo dong xi , jiu zuo de hao hao de"
- If you want to do things , why not do it nicely ?

So if you care , why don't care with all that you can offer ?
I didn't heed the advice of others .

& I later know why ..

People don't like someone else to care a lot , a lot .
I have personal experience , where someone keep asking me every single unhappy status I made .
Keep probing my problems , keep pestering , keep asking , trying to keep updated .
I was pissed , to be honest .
I didn't like it .

Ironically , it was exactly what I did to her in the past .
& funnily , in comparison with how irritating I felt it was ,
My opinion is that she reacted well .
It would have been worst .

Yeah , this is one shameful thing to say .
She left , because I was annoying .
Sad at first , but I learnt a lesson .

Lesson learnt ?
Care , care for all you can .
But at the right time , and in the right manner .
I learnt .
It changed me , as a person .
I no longer care as much as I do , because its annoying .
I tried to control .
I learnt .

To be continued ..

21st June 2011

2011-06-21T14:26:00.009+08:00

Fooled by the game of love , or fool the game of love ?

Have you ever been in love ?
Or what else others may say , the game of love ?

Have you ever loved somebody ,
Just to know that they are loving someone else ?

Have you ever felt the urge to contact someone ,
Yet resisting the urge .
Or what others may refer to , playing hard to get ?

There may be tons and tons of rules everywhere .
From newspapers , articles , internet , books , to even consultations .

But does love really needs all these ?

What are the rules ? You may ask .
There are some "ground rules" to oblige , as stated in many sources .
Such as playing hard to get ,
And not showing all of your feelings at one go .
& not giving yourself away cheaply , make him/her earn you , not receive .

Do we need to follow ? Is the second question .

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Just a few hours back , while flipping through the cable TV .
A movie caught my eye .
"Play the game" , the title .
Thinking , "game" ? I thought it would most probably be any soccer , basketball , baseball , or any sports .
But I pressed on the green button on the remote (for info)
And it describe the show as a Casanova teaching his grandpa to get an old lady .

Of course , it has an added spice of humour .
But what lies in it , is what applies to us .
You may have experience it , maybe you haven't .

There was one scene whereby the cassanova , advised the grandpa ...
Do not call . Instead , wait for that someone to call you .
They then waited and waited and waited .
But eventually , they called . Out of love , out of desperation , out of tired of waiting , you name it .

But the focus is on the cassanova , who fell into the game of love itself , the game that he used to master so well .
He fell in love with a girl ,
He tried all sort of ways he could .
Hinting , pretending to have a girlfriend , spending a lot time with her . And more .
The movie depicts the show that has a pinch of reality .

Have you ever been glad that someone that you love , finally , became single ?
& turns out , she likes another guy ,
But it isn't you ?

Girl : Hey , I broke up with Paul ...

Guy : *smile but pretending* Oh .. sorry to hear that , are you alright ?

Girl : Yeah , I am . Its just that when I see you with the girl just now , its like both of you are
full of passion , the passion that is lacking between Paul and me . And I feel so jealous ..

Guy : Oh ...

Girl : & I think I like a guy , he's handsome , friendly , and I find him kind of cute ..

Guy : *happy happy* Oh , go for him then .

Girl : But I don't know whether to tell him .. you know , its complicated , he didn't know that I like him .. and well ...

Guy : You should tell him . I'm pretty sure HE likes you too .

Girl : Oh David , thanks . Talking to you has been a great pleasure . You make me feel so much better now . I shall tell him that I like him the first thing when I go to work tomorrow .......

Guy : *bewildered* WHAT ? Work ? Wait , you mean he's your colleague ?

Girl : Ya , that's why I say its kind of complicated . I don't know whether I should tell him ..

Guy : *gutted* I don't know ..

The scene then go on with the guy (cassanova) , telling his friend all these . And ended up being laughed at .

*FAST FORWARD*

Guy : I don't know .. she's the one , she's the one . She's special , unique . I know she's the one .

Grandpa : She's unique , probably you shouldn't try what you normally do on girls . Probably , you just have to do everything special . The opposite , confess your feelings , take the initiative , do everything you can , show her what you can do .

It was then he finally confess , for the first time . And was rejected , as being a playboy .
Gutted of course , he changed himself , doing voluntary work , being sincere , everything , that the girl look for in a guy .
Subsequently , he then painstakingly share his trouble with his grandpa .

"She didn't like the one she knew , the old you . But maybe she like you now , the new you ." The grandpa then replied.

He then met the girl in the laundry store (where they first met) ,
And tell her everything .
He mentioned somewhere along the line of ...
"What you said were true before I knew you . But when I found you , I found me . And I want to you get to know the person , the new me ."

The girl then accepted , saying "Yeah , I saw you at the old folks home , it was great , you were sincere . And yeah , I would very much like to know that person" .

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So what's the morale of the story ?
I ain't someone who likes to analyse .
Instead , I hate to anaylse .
But this is so close to what we , or at least me , have experienced .
Have you ever tried playing hard to get ?

But this story shows the other side of the plot .
If you really love someone , stop playing the game of love .
Stop with all those nonsense of the rules of the game if you want a companion .
Fall deep , tell her your feelings .
Don't hide it , show it .
Do not act as if you do not care .
Give it all , throw it in .
Eventually , it will be paid off .

If you want to win the game of love , maybe you should stop playing games with women .
- Andy Griffith , "Play The Game"

11th June 2011

2011-06-11T23:30:00.007+08:00

Do your best , **** the rest

Censored :D
I often have the belief that , whatever I post , will not happen to me again , or that something bad will happen related to that particular thing that I post .
Such as if I post something good about someone , something bad will happen between us .
It's superstitious .
But if superstitious holds , I hope this won't happen again .

I'm single , yet again .
Happy ? Perhaps , as I do not have to handle both studies and relationship at the same time .
Before any relationships , we often say ,
"Yes yes , we can juggle between both , we will strike a balance, it would not affect our results" .
But when you're really in it , to hell with it , its really difficult to strike a balance .
When you're talking with her , things starts to roll really well , and it often takes a couple of hours ..
Or even , till you sleep .
However , you feel the need , the need to AT LEAST , do your tutorials (so called homeworks)
But while you're doing it , you feel the guilt and need to accompany your partner .
Yeah , you get it .

I didn't strike a balance , I'm confused , frustrated , vexed .
BOOMZ , gone .

However , this isn't just one of the factors .
Well , why am I telling everyone this ?
I hope by doing this , it benefit any reader , any .
I don't know how , though .
Nevertheless , readers of my post , at least deserve some of my share of experience .
And here it is .

What kind of girl , do you actually mix well with ?
Well , if you're a girl , then which kind of guy , do you mix well with ?
For example , I mix well with girls , who share their problems .
Why ?
Because I'm one who lends a listening ear ,
And not the one that likes to talk to a person , trying to act normal , when I know the other party is not fine .
This applies especially to people who mean something to me .
So when question like "What happened" is being asked .
"Nothing" , as an answer , actually turns me off .
Turning off is not the exact phrase , well ..
As said , it just feels awfully awful , when you know a person isn't fine .

What's yours ?
What kind of person , are you actually more comfortable with ?
I'm not asking you to NOT go with your feel .
But instead , find someone whom you love , and the one , who compliments you .

Truth to be told ,
You may never find someone who really matches every tick of your criteria .
Be it balancing between work & studies & relationship ,
Or trying to "adapt" to someone .
Do your best , and to hell with any outcome it may be .
& if you found the one who is perfect to you .
Hold it , never let go .

Remember ,
If she can't handle you at your worst , she don't deserve you at your best .

8th May 2010

2011-05-08T23:34:00.005+08:00

To you :

Heyheyyy !
Don't angry le okay ?
I'm sorryyy .
I said I wouldn't post today , cause I don't have the feel .
But I still did , just for you .
Don't know if you'll be reading this .
Hehe , maybe you won't & I'm just writing this to people who shouldn't be reading this :o
Really sorry , I promise I'll learn to be more sensitive okay ?
I really didn't expect it .
I won't probe anymore , I promise .
I love you , I'm not lying .
Even if the whole world is against you , I'm with you <3

From : Your douchebag

7th April 2011

2011-04-07T22:18:00.003+08:00

I'm blogging , unprepared .
So don't blame me if it sucks ,
Cause I just feel like posting . Haha !

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm surfing the net just before I'm writing this .
For those friends who were close to me ,
Remembered the time when I "closed" my blog ,
& only "reopened" it few weeks/months later with an empty , whole new blog ?
Truth is , I didn't delete the blog ,
I simply relocate it . Haha .

It was like a flashback .
If anyone actually remembered ,
It was full of the by-then important to me person , who eventually , left .
Happy , a few .
Sadness , countless .
It was a gan which I valued preciously , the closest I've ever been with someone .
Somehow , I thought how I actually managed to hang on .

I admit it does hurt at that time , a lot .
But I didn't leave empty handed .
Because since then , I've met people who struggled to hold on to people .
& this time , I know how they feel .
Therefore , counseling made easy .

What's the point of my post , you may ask .
Have you ever met with a obstacle , a mistake , a trouble .
Have you ever did something wrong , or things just didn't pan out the way you wanted it to ?
Have you ever lost someone precious , not death , but leaving you , relationship-nally ?
I remember publishing a post about Standing Up from these .
I mentioned how difficult it is .
I know it is difficult , but once you did it , you learn something .
My point is , stand up , no matter how hard it is , its one of those lessons in life one must learn .

No ,
I don't mean those lessons that lead you to say ...
"Guys are JERKS" & "Girls are BITCHES"
Of course not .
However , I found the former mentioned frequently .
Why , we guys often ask .
Why are women stereotyping guys like us ?
Don't blame them , its a lesson they learn repeatedly .
Blame who ?
Blame all those that portray a bad image of us .
Of course , not ALL guys are like that .
Try saying that to a girl , they'll hit you with a straight "no" .
Prove them wrong , I'd say .

formspring.me

2011-04-07T22:02:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/XinXing

21st March 2011

2011-03-21T14:06:00.004+08:00

Drop drop drop the viewing goes ~

Haha , yes , I'm back !
Well , sorry for the lack of post .
Was preparing for examinations ,
And then going out / catching up with friends / soccer ,
And then flooding myself with games I missed so much !
& to Kar Wong , there's actually one post during this year , which I deleted :D

Another reason I didn't post ,
Was that I post based on my mood , what I'm experiencing , what I see .
I blogged posts about neglection , when I felt I was neglected .
I blogged posts about closeness , when I felt like reminiscing .
I blogged about friends , when they seems somewhat special at times .
Blogging is all about personal things , aren't they ?
People may say I'm not posting about anything personal .
But in fact , I am , just in a different way .

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever been to somewhere you were so used to living ?
The place that you grown up ?
Living in a second house since birth ,
A trip to around the area I used to live , brings memories .
I remembered crossing the road to the market in a t-shirt with tons of holes (its DESIGNED this way)
I remembered walking close , holding my mum's hand as we head to the market .
During that time , it feel somewhat special , to leave house , even with parents .
With people walking by , smiling at you , and sometimes saying "sooo cuuteeee" (I bet people does this when you're little , too)
At that time , it was so carefree , that even tagging along to the market seems so enjoyable , so fun .

As years goes by ,
Think , when was the last time you tag along with your family ,
Not to places like wedding dinners ,
But commonplaces such as market .
But wait , hold on , do you even go with your family to wedding dinners ?

Of course , no one will ever say you're "sooo cuteee" in the market anymore ,
And not one will ever walk by and smile at you (of course , UNLESS A GIRL LIKES YOU)
As we grow up ,
We tend to go out ,
We tend to relate ,
We tend to play ,
We tend to chat ,
We tend to eat together ,
But with who ?
Friends , instead of families .

When was the last time you had a proper dinner with your family , every single member present ?
Reunion dinner ? Once a year ?
Remember the times when your mum or dad used to feed you , spoon by spoon .
And reflect , what about now ?

Parents used to say ,
It's okay , kids have grown up , they have their freedom .
But do they , really ?
I believe deep inside , they would really want to have a proper dinner , a proper outing , together .
I believe they would want to be the one you relate to ,
The one you chat with ,
And the one you eat together with .

Being in a strict family ,
I see reluctant in their faces as they slowly give me what we so called "freedom" .
Freedom , only to us . What about them ?

It's okay to hang out with friends ,
Just have a proper balance between friends and family ,
And never neglect them .
'Cause in the end , your parents would still be your parents and no one will be able to replace them .

31st December 2010

2010-12-31T16:20:00.003+08:00

2010,
A year filled with ups and downs,
Losing something, yet gaining another.
A period mixed with tears and laughter,
Joy and sadness.

Bye, year 2010!

17th December 2010

2010-12-17T20:51:00.010+08:00

Have you ever been,
To your previous school,
To your old house,
To your grandparents house where you once lived in,
Or to your favourite spot in your country?

How does it feels?
Happy because it was the place you first taught a new friend?
Reminiscing because it was once your shelter, a place you call home?
A place where interacting with elderly is fun?
Or the only place on earth that you can be by yourself?

Everywhere we go,
We tend to leave some memories.
Be it good or bad, happy or sad.
Many people left their memories by marking "I WAS HERE".
Yeah, they were.

Memories left on places,
Such as the first time you met your idol, the first time you laughed so hard, or the place where you scored your first goal.
Could bring so much smiles and laughter.
But at the same time,
Memories such as places you once shared a sweet memory, but would never happen again.
Could bring sadness and heartache.

Places,
As it seem,
Look simple.

"Let's go to Hougang!"
"Let's go to Choa Chu Kang!"
It's simple to say,
It's easy to go.
But,
What memories,
What impact,
Has it left on you?

As the picture above implies,
The case for me is National Stadium.
I never knew National Stadium would mean so much to me.
I know it was the place I watched National Day Parade several times,
And the place I first witnessed Singapore vs Brazil,
Followed by Singapore vs Liverpool.
Little did I know,
Or at least, I never thought how much memories were left there.
So what if a new stadium is to be built?
Its different from the same old stadium, the same old opposite grandstand that I sat and cheered on.
I took the picture when my father's car was passing by,
And days later, I heard on the radio,
"National Stadium is at the final phase of demolition".
Initially,
I thought, "Alright, we will have a new national stadium".
But at a second thought,
It is actually my place of memory that is being demolished.
A place,
That will never be the same,
Again.

16th December 2010

2010-12-17T02:13:00.006+08:00

It's 2:16 am,
Blog? What to blog, I asked myself.
At the same time, radio played some old songs,
Songs that are long forgotten, long outdated, long heard of.
But these songs contain lyrics that are so meaningful,
Which are often overlooked by modern song, with hype, but without meaning.
Examples like Eenie Meenie, OMG?
While .. these are the few that played on the radio.

Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

It's late in the evening
She's wondering what clothes to wear
She puts on her make up
And brushes her long blonde hair
And then she asks me
Do I look alright
And I say yes, you look wonderful tonight

We go a party
And everyone turns to see
This beautiful lady
That's walking around with me
And then she asks me
Do you feel alright
And I say yes, I feel wonderful tonight

I feel wonderful
Because I see the love light in your eyes
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize
How much I love you

It's time to go home now
And I've got an aching head
So I give her the car keys
She helps me to bed
And then I tell her
As I turn out the light
I say my darling, you were wonderful tonight
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight

Collin Raye - Love Me

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me
He said, "Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I love your Grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said :

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of the church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I've never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her, his eyes fill up with tears

"If you get there before I do
Don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be

But I'm not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then
Til I see you again

I'll be loving you
Love, Me."

Chicago - Look Away

When you called me up this mornin'
Told me 'bout the new love you'd found
I said I'm happy for you
I'm really happy for you
Found someone else
I guess I won't be comin' 'round
I guess it's over, baby
It's really over, baby, whoa-oh

And from what you said
I know you've gotten over me
It'll never be
The way it used to be
So if it's gotta be this way
Don't worry, baby
I can take the news okay
But...

If you see me walkin' by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look away
And if we meet on the street someday
And I don't know what to say
Look away, baby, look away
Don't look at me
I don't want you to see me this way

When we both agreed as lovers
We were better off as friends
That's how it had to be
Yeah, that's how it had to be
I tell you I'm fine
But sometimes I just pretend
Wish you were holdin' me
Wish you were still holdin' me, oh, oh

I just never thought
That I would be replaced so soon
I wasn't prepared
To hear those words from you
I know I wanted to be free
Yeah, baby, this is how we wanted it to be
But...

If you see me walkin' by
And the tears are in my eyes
Look away, baby, look away
Don't look at me
I don't want you to see me this way

When you called me up this mornin'
Told me 'bout the new love you'd found
I said I'm happy for you
I'm really happy for you

Songs come and go,
They will be replaced as time goes by.
Sometimes,
Instead of looking towards to the latest songs,
Re-appreciate the songs that are long forgotten, neglected, unappreciated, and underrated.

27th November 2010

2010-11-27T19:50:00.004+08:00

Sorry for the lack of post from my personal thoughts.
I do have a lot of ideas on what to post.
But what matters is, "Will I, Would I, or am I capable of doing it"
What's the point of posting someone you will never be.
& posting someone that I would or try to be, is one of the toughest task faced when posting.

Ready, or NOT ready?

Its been long since I've been attached.
Fortunately, I had my fair share of experiencing closeness because I had someone who was very close to me.
Seeing some friends with couples,
It often lead me to think, "Stupid, why did I reject those who came forward"
But I came to a conclusion that maybe, I'm just not ready for it.
Of course, the thought of being close to someone, someone to care for, and someone who cares for you seems tempting at times.
On the contrary, thinking about the pressure, and the feeling of being tied that naturally comes from closeness, made me think again.

I mean, sure, if you found someone whom you really love, you wouldn't feel that way, about being tied down.
& so, this comes down to the conclusion about finding the right one.
What's the point of putting all the effort for someone whom you don't love.
And what's the point of putting so much "love" for someone you're simply playing with.
To be honest, I don't see the benefits of being in relationship with someone you're merely fooling with.
Back to topic, finding someone right isn't as easy as said.
There will be a dilemma when someone comes straight to you and says "I love you"
And there maybe a false illusion of love from oneself, commonly known as infatuation.

It would be seemingly wrong in social norm for a girl to come forward.
But at the same time, I'm not those kind who willingly going forward, to ask for numbers, or even for a relationship from someone I know.
Yes, girls hate guys like me :(
However, on the bright side, I believe that it keeps me clear on finding the right one.
Imagine what would happen if I got a number, asked for relationship, and then got it, but found out she's not the one.
Tragedy.

In conclusion,
Finding a right one may be difficult.
But don't find those that aren't right for you.
Take your time.
& if you found one who is the right one, love with all you got.
As they say,
爱要爱得投入

22nd November 2010

2010-11-22T17:02:00.006+08:00

Went down to West Coast Plaza to visit Felicia'Sister with WEILUN & SOON CHEONG since it was near to my school on Friday.
She was working there, doing children art!
Hehe, went down to accompany her,
And ended up making mine!

CUTE RIGHT!
YESYES, WINNIE THE POOH!
She wanted me to do Dinosaur, ;p
But it came at a cost... $5 :(
Butbut, it's more than her 1 hour of pay! *hinthint!*
Hoho, but they blamed me for the lack of creativity in the colours.
I guess they had a purple pooh in mind.
Bhb-ed to my father,
But he suan-ed me, said even a 3 years old can do this.
IRONICALLY, he didn't bring me to such stuff when I was 3 :(
I wanna go out T_T

12th November 2010

2010-11-12T17:25:00.005+08:00

DOGG!
Dogs, man's best friends.
Yes yes, this is the picture taken of me feeding him just an hour ago.
I admit they may be more playful,
Or even less friendly compared to cats.
But they are loyal creatures.
In my fair share of experience in terms of despair,
I found something that they have, than often lacks in people.

They are loyal,
They are sincere,
They never lies,
They never complain,
Never backstab,
They will never hurt you,
Nor will they get tired of you.

They may be very playful at times,
But there are sweet moments, too.
When was the last time someone ever waited patiently for you,
Sitting right at your doorstep, simply waiting for you to open the door.
Wagging its tail by just the sight of you.
They never fail to be your playmates when you need it the most.
Playing with you,
Accompanying you,
Following you even if its a trip to the kitchen
Yes, they may be TOO playful sometimes,
But there are also times when they are not playing.

I'm not a big fan of his coming into my room,
Never is my family as well.
They have chosen to close their doors,
But I left it open.
Even at times when I am in my room,
Sometimes, he just lie there, waiting.
Dogs, so they say, man's best friend.

I have realised there has been a lot of visitors,
But no taggers.
So please tag,
IF NOT,
IT MAKES MY BLOG SEEMS DEAD :'(

8th November 2010

2010-11-08T20:27:00.005+08:00

I have been warn by my friends not to post too much/plainly about my thoughts
& Never about my life.

Sadly,
With a defected phone and WITHOUT a camera,
I didn't have the chance to take any photos.

Anyway, here goes.

5th November 2010

It was the second time my house held a buffet.
Of course it came with an event.
It was a celebration of my grandmother's birthday.
Pictures were taken, but not meant to be shown here due to ... yes, you know, I know!
However, friends can see it via Facebook.

There were
CURRY CHICKEN,
FRIED RICE,
SWEET & SOUR FISH,
BUTTER PRAWNS,
&& MANY OTHER MORE (which I forgot, hehe!)

Butbut, there are photos!
Yes, my poor dog ..

Being used to being free and out of cage,
It must've been difficult to be kept in.
Yes, he got show his kuku, *omg*

6th November 2010

Fierce quarrel with mum.

7th November 2010

It was dad birthday!
Ate at Seoul Garden,
But I was $32 poorer (yes, my entire asset)
I'm OFFICIALLY BANKRUPT.
Butbut, the food was nice!
Chicken chicken, fish fish, where's pork?!
Dammit!

8th November 2010

Presented Fernando Torres in my Business Communication lesson.

Let's keep it short :P

4th November 2010

2010-11-04T13:30:00.002+08:00

ANG WEI LUN & ONG SOON CHEONG = GAYS!

3rd November 2010

2010-11-03T14:59:00.002+08:00

Often in relationships,
We tend to "tie" people down.
We tend to restrict them to be ours, and not letting them go.
We often want them to be by our side,
Because they meant so much to us,
That we are afraid that they might leave.

External factors like those of same gender who seems to get close to your other partners,
Always bring about insecurities.
We constantly wish our couple to stick with us,
To stay close, like how sweet couples should be.
Thus, this often lead us to make them stay close to ourselves, forcefully.

However,
As relationship prolong,
Couples, or close ones need some breathing space.
Freedom is key, so they say.
But often,
With the closeness so intense,
We consistently want them to be by our side,
Be it in playing of games, talking on phones, or mere hanging out.
Some even went to the extent to track them, to continuously inquire them about their whereabouts.
This is overboard.
Everyone, be it attached, single, married or divorced needs some space for themselves, for their friends, for their families.
Sometimes,
Respect them, give them some space.

29th October 2010

2010-10-29T18:08:00.004+08:00

There are three types of people.

Firstly,
There are those who look plainly on appearance.
Bad character? Nevermind!
They tend to be the one who go after handsome guys or pretty girls without actually looking at their personalities.
Whether it fits them or not, or whether they can last a relationship, they wouldn't care.
They just want to be in a relationship with them.
These people, may not last in a relationship when they found out the character of the other parties.
However, in some occasion, they are lucky to find someone who has both good appearance and character.

Secondly,
There are those who open one eye for both sides.
They care about the appearance of a person before getting into relationship with them.
But in contrast with the above, these people does concern about what kind of people they are meeting with.
Ideally, they would want to meet someone who has both good appearance and character.
However, they will be happy with just someone who they deem average.

Thirdly,
There are people who doesn't care about any appearance.
They look into the character of a person.
"Love is blind" so they say.
They wouldn't mind what others believed as "ugly",
For all they know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
They see the beauty of an unpolished diamond.
They wouldn't mind their appearance, they are only looking for a good character, but never the appearance.
People may say others as "ugly" or "turn-off".
However, these are the people who pick them up, take a deeper look, and love them for who they are.

So, which type of a lover are you?

29th October 2010

2010-10-29T17:20:00.004+08:00

"When you love until it hurts, then there's no hurt, but only more love"
Was the phrase I heard not long ago.

Hurt. Hurt occurs in mostly every relationship. Every quarrels, every disappointment, and every little bit of unhappiness.
Yes, Hurt sometimes brings relationship deeper. Quarrels may bring couples closer together, Disappointment often lower expectations and a happier relationship overall. And unhappiness at times bring about understanding within a couple.

However, It's partly true as what we perceived. Most of the times, Hurt, brings about detrimental emotional impact on many.
Why do we feel hurt, we asked.
Somehow along the way, We often felt that we are hurt, by people who meant a lot to us.
Ever seen how a sweet girlfriend can get hurt? Ever seen how a loving boyfriend can get hurt? Or have you ever seen broken-hearted parents, teachers, or friends?

It is always the bonding that made us trust, Always the love that makes us close And always those sweet moments that are attached to our memories that made us so vulnerable. We never fails to lament about how bad they were,
"My kids are not doing well academically" "My boyfriend doesn't understand me at all" "My girlfriend take me for granted" "My student isn't working hard enough" "My friend is neglecting me"
Do you realise that all those that hurt you, are often those that you care for.
Parents care about their child, Couples care about one another, Teachers care about their students, And friends care for each other.
In times of our life,
We will be hurt in almost every single way.
Your parents may be expecting too much for you, Or your care for someone may have left unnoticed.
But on the contrary, Hurt can be a sign that the person is someone that you care about.
Have you ever hurt someone in your life? Be it someone you dislike, Or someone you wouldn't dare to show your face again. Approach them.

Because, To be able to hurt them, You must be someone really, really special to them.

20th October 2010

2010-10-20T12:21:00.007+08:00

I was with my father as his van drove past a row of terraces.
Something caught my eye,
"Beware of Dogs", It says, with a picture of a watchdog drawn on the plate.
But when I look closely,
It is not lying, there is a dog,
And yes, a watchdog.
However, apart from its usual characteristics that we often perceived such as barking or growling loudly.
It was different from its accustomed sense of hostility.
In fact, it was with the owner,
Wagging its tail happily while following him.

What am I getting to?
Days after days after days, we tend to look at something on one side, but fails to see on another, the good side.
Parents do that often, we experienced that.
Do they notice you when you're study? No.
Do they seem to be there nagging, every time you're playing the computer? Most probably.
From all walks of life,
I believe people has suffered to certain extent that people only sees their flaws, and not their attributes.
But the fact is, there are always two sides of things.
My dog for example,
He may be fierce and VERY unfriendly to strangers.
And the sharp white teeth of his may be scary to some.
On the other hand, he is a hell of a companion and a playmate at home.
& although the teeth are scary, never did he once bite.
At most, he will only place your flesh between his jaws.
But never, never did he close it tight.

Even gangster, as what we or our parents often believe as a bad influence has their better sides.
Insult their parents, and you get what I mean.
& they aren't always a bad influence, they stand up for one another.
But however, they have their flaws too.

Look at the Discipline Masters we used to have,
Or any other fierce teachers you've met throughout your life.
We often ponder how devastating it would be if we were to be their child.
But in truth,
If you haven't realised,
Despite their tough front,
They have their soft spots as well.
They have their own family, they can be as loving and as caring as a parent should be.
& Putting on a fierce countenance is just one of their jobs.
Yes, to scare you, hehe.

&& my BiangBiang,
Look at her.
She is completely sot,
Crazy, wild, don't tell me her problems
&& sometimes VERY demanding,
She is actually quite a nice girl AT TIMES (but not all *hoho*)
And sometimes sms me.
She may be sot, but sometimes her mind is actually working right.
*hehehe*

I hate to say this because this has been repeated over and over again.
But have you ever found the good qualities of your parents?
They care for us, that is why they nag, they scold, they cane, and they cry.
I may not have the right to comprehend how much they may have suffered.
So that's up to you to reflect.

You feel upset when your flaws are highlighted and that your qualities are neglected.
Everyone have experienced that, and no one feels good.
"Never judge a book by it's cover" so they say.
Sometimes,
When you come across something,
Or someone,
Take a look at its content.

17th October 2010 (2)

2010-10-17T14:43:00.003+08:00

BiangBiang!
Can you stop being so DEMANDING?!

Xiao Qi says:
Must post how good am i and blahblahblah de.
To Live, To Learn, To Leave A Legacy says:
LOL!
Xiao Qi says:
NOT START THEN END.

See! Demanding right? ;wild

Okok, here goes.
Ermmm ...

Thanks for pei-ing me sms everytime!
Thanks for pei me play games.
Ermmm ... thanks for being so crappy && nice to talk to.
Thanks for being my gan BiangBiang, what a strange gan. LOL!
Biangdieyou!
Also known as Ah Qi.
Ah Qi, LOL!
She crazy at times,
And hyper.
But sometimes she can be really down, and pretty stress.
However, she is still cheerful most of the time.
When when she's cheerful, no one can handle her,
Not even me T_T
Is this LONG enough?
Stay happy BiangBiang.
&& Oh ya! She NEVER tells me her problem! ;arg

17th October 2010

2010-10-17T14:36:00.002+08:00

Hi BiangBiang,
I'm posting now.

Start ....

ENDED!

Hoho, go tag! *ROAR!*

30th September 2010

2010-09-30T17:56:00.007+08:00

Life has its ups and downs,
It is never a smooth ride,
& this is what you have to take it in your stride.

In the world of huge differences,
Contraries of rich and poor exist.
Just like different schools and football teams have different standards,
What may be considered as happiness, or what we so called "ups" may differ.
Finding some leftover foods may be joyous for the poor,
But it will never be, for the rich.

Standards, so we call it, are set by ourselves.
And indirectly, it certainly affects our level and inclination to happiness.
Our wishes, or wants, are unlimited.

A faster way of traveling other than land?
Yes, we have it, you can now travel by air.

Ability to travel faster?
Yes, cars nowadays can reach up to 100km/h within a matter of 4.1 seconds.

What about being able to carry more people in a single airplane?
Yes, we have come out with the Airbus A380 , capable of carrying up to 1,378 passengers.

Lastly, how about landing on the moon?
We did it.

As you can see,
Nothing is actually impossible in our world.
It must have been satisfying for humans to be able to land on the moon, to be able to travel faster.
But, has it ever stopped?
More and more vehicles are made to travel faster, and ways had been devised to travel to other planets.
With ever-increasing and "ridiculous" demands,
Will happiness ever exist?

I'm not telling you to aim high,
Just like how demand meets supply to determine its price,
Standards are used to compare with current situations to determine happiness,
Yes, your happiness.

It's true that aiming high may sometimes achieve remarkable results.
But there's a trade-off, your happiness.
Reaching a target may bring you happiness,
But it will never last long unless you are happy with the current situation, and stick to it.

Life has its ups and downs,
Be happy with what you got.
Higher targets are merely a bonus,
But what matters in life is to be satisfied with what you have.
Otherwise, there wouldn't be any "ups", even if any, it wouldn't last long enough to be enjoyed.

Aiming high is good,
But sometimes ...

"Take a step back,
Stop demanding for more,
Look at what you got,
It may well bring you happiness"

Some say that the poor are indeed happier than the rich.
Precisely, that's because they are satisfied with what they have, be it a penny for a day, or a cloth for a week.
Unfortunately, on the other hand, the rich, who seems to have everything, are never satisfied.

25th September 2010

2010-09-25T00:56:00.005+08:00

It's 12:56am in the morning on 25th September 2010.
It's late at night,
Where most people have gone into bed,
Where streets are barren from pedestrians.
Where amount of cars have lessen, and roads are so much quieter.
It is only time when everything seems to have died down,
The continuous chattering, the noisy engine roaring in the background seems to dissolve.
The night seems to be the only time in a day that can ever be as smoothing.

With "Love Me" by Colin Raye playing in the background,
And the Formula 1 race coming to a rest since 11pm,
When the moon and stars lightning up the sky,
The night seems so much more calm, so much more peaceful.

It is the only time when minds can be cleared of thoughts,
There's no one on the streets,
No public transport, yes, not even buses.
It is also the time when most family members are asleep,
And quarrels are at the minimal.
Works come to a halt,
And there's no more cranes moving around up high,
No lorries filled with sands,
Just like how Shenton Way is emptied from rushing workers.
Lights are switched off,
And the sound of televisions are absent.
There's no more crazy neighbour singing their karaoke out loud,
Quietness, such serenity.

Night, how beautiful, but often left unnoticed.

23rd September 2010

2010-09-23T13:56:00.004+08:00

Simplicity is happiness,
Is often what we heard.
Jian dan jiu shi xing fu,
So they say.

Is living life in simplicity possible in such a complex world?
The continuous creation of gadget such as pager to handphone to Iphone to Ipad.
The revolution of housing from attap houses, to villages, to HDBs, to condominiums, to terrace, to bungalows, to mansions.
The increase in the efficiency of life, such as faster cars, quicker source of public transport.
How about education, where syllabus are modified constantly, to meet the ever-changing demand of the world?

Simplicity, almost seems impossible.

Stress, we say, is what keep us apart from attaining a simple life.
Those lives in Kampong, so our forefather says, are simple, yet fun and enriching.
Playing marbles, who would do that nowadays?
Not me, I admit.
But are they happier than we are, you decide.

Simple life, similar to the one in those old times, are what we refer to as boring.
"Come, let's go out for party/let's go out slack/let's watch some movies",
Are what we hear often.
Yeah sure, have some fun, but after all has been done, many worried about their personal finance.

I am never a fan of complex life,
Because personally, I believe a complex life ruin the real you.
Busy with having fun and high level of stress tends to keep you away from some lone time for yourself.

True enough,
People who are successful in our current society are those who are eternally working, striving for the best.
But can you say that they are the happiest person on earth?
Money can't buy happiness.

After the end of the first polytechnic semester,
I am happy to take a back foot,
And look at things from different angles.
I'm sorry if I left you puzzled.

21st September 2010

2010-09-21T18:37:00.003+08:00

"Cause you're amazing, just the way you are",
Was part of the lyrics of a song when I tuned into the radio.
After that song, a couple of DJ, together with a female DJ, was debating.
The topic was that this song can only be sang by man, and never women.
The reason is simple in their argument are simple,
They believed that women can never accept man as they are,
And often tries to change them,
& when they fails,
They will say,
"You're no longer the guy I knew".

Views?

16th September 2010

2010-09-16T19:23:00.015+08:00

Did I change?
YES,
For the first time in my life,
I'm glad to say I've changed.
YES,
My favourite word,
NI BIAN LE.
*opps!*
Is WO BIAN LE!
Hehe.
Okay, I'm a bit crazy here. *yay*

============Finish crapping with Mr Gerald Sergio Goh==================

Alright.
I was looking back at my Facebook.
All the pictures.
And yes,
I have changed.
&& well, there are things I didn't thought I would be able to do, that I did.

First of all,
Where have I changed, you may ask.
Picture speaks a thousand words.

This, is how I look like, in Secondary One.

*Hope no one who hates me, see these ... *

Fun shot, but there's nothing, just standing still.
And that is a VERY, VERY, VERY short hair.

This is the fun shot, of Secondary 2.

Yes, standing still, again.
AND that is still, a very very very short hair.

This, is Secondary 3.

Poor Kennedy and Guo Wan, LOL.
Yes, I stopped standing,
I sat on people's leg.
Hehe! *shyshy*

This, is my last year of Secondary School :D
And the picture I was proud of.

LOL!
Yes, that Fernando Torres pose.
I changed.
I no longer sit, no longer stand,
But on my knees.
Doing what I would be doing everytime whenever I score a goal.
Yes, my hair grew longer too. *hehe*

Things, I thought I would ever enjoy

I'm always a soccer fan, from young.
I played soccer with all those plastic balls, and then move on to those real soccer ball *which I thought was SO hard*
But my passion for the sport, didn't changed.
& In Secondary School,
I'm fortunate to have found some soccer fans as well,
In which I played soccer with, during and after school hours.

But the thing that I've never thought to happen,
Is to continue to play soccer, after Secondary School.
It came as a surprise, with great gratitude,
What's more? It's on a regular basis, with a regular, good field.

As a big Liverpool fan since young,
I've always catch every Liverpool match for years.
Even a match, that was few days before the O' Levels.
Yes, of course, there's a sense of guilt while watching.
However, I never dream of watching them before my very eyes.
On 29th July 2009,
Liverpool came to Singapore, for a match against the Lions.
I was among the thousands who presented themselves,
I watched my favourite player, favourite team, playing before my eyes.
And I joined the fans in their cheering.

& yup, I wasn't alone.
I came with 2 friends, who were Manchester United and Chelsea fan respectively, who paid $90 for the match.
And also a teacher, who was my all-time favourite Liverpool fan.

Mentos Record.
& yes, my crazy school had organised a mentos geyser to break the Singapore Record.
And I was one of them.
Hehe!
*BOM!*

Although I've played soccer, for so long,
I've never gotten a medal.
Thus, getting a my first medal was unforgettable.
I place my trust and belief that our current ManPool FC manager, Alex Tung Hodgson will bring the team to glory this season.

& last but not least,
Being raised up in a family that doesn't travel overseas as often as other family does,
I've never dreamt of going overseas,
Yes, not even Malaysia.
But I have exceeded what I hope I would go,
I would be satisfied to travel Asia,
But no,
My first overseas trip, was Australia, (Sydney and Canberra.)

What makes me go over the mood is that, I've got the window seat.
And I was able to enjoy those beautiful views.
Thus, I would like to end of this post, with the picture I like the most.

10th September 2010

2010-09-10T22:24:00.006+08:00

I'll dedicate this,
To those who are looking backwards,
Or those who are wondering what's in the future.

Society taught us to plan what's ahead.
While memories lead us to where we were.

More than often,
We went back to all those good times,
Wondering, and appreciating them.
Looking back at all those fond memories,
And all those learning experience that we have acquired through hardship.
Reminisce of all those achievements.
Although we want those moments back,
But deep inside, we know its the past.

In the pace of a city life,
We're often planning, more than you realised.
We plan for what's after school, after lunch, and after dinner.
Efficiency is key.
Opportunity cost, for those who understands what that means.
It is vital, so we say, for life needs plan.

We plan for the future,
And we look back at the past.
Can you see that missing link?

What about the present?

Frequently, we only plan, plan, and plan for whats ahead.
Or when time strikes, we take a back foot, and look back into our past.
We plan for the good things,
We recall our dear memories.
But even if we achieved what we have planned, it will become the past in a blink of an eye.
How about cherishing?
How about appreciating?

Everywhere we go,
Can we say that everyone is happy?

No.

Because most people are never satisfied,
They reached their goal, they aim further.

"Don't look back at your past and be complacent, study hard." My poly tutor once said.
I agree with him.
But I believe we should be happy, for what we have, in our hands, at this second.
People are never truly happy,
Until they really cherish and realise what they have now.

Take some time out,
Have a breather.
Stop planning,
Eschew your recollection.
Look at what you got,
Hold it tight, cherish it,
And never let it go.

8th September 2010

2010-09-08T13:59:00.015+08:00

IN's and Out's of month August/September

Exams are over.
Thereby apologise for the lack of post, didn't meant it ;P
However,
Months of August and September proved to be one of the biggest "Transfer" season ever.
Many of in's and out's.
Many changes.
You'll see.

First of all,
I would like to start with farewells.

GOODBYES'

Subject : Van
Date of Arrival : 18/12/1992
Date of Departure : 07/09/2010 (Yesterday)
Cost : $30,000
Scrap value : Unknown

First of all,
And most importantly, is the vehicle.
This is one of the few snaps I took, before it eventually departed.
I didn't know I had so much memories within those small spaces.
I remembered it was where I used to sleep, and the place I slept, and fall.
I remembered how I used to sit behind, glancing at cars in the rear.
It used to amazed me.
I would like to thank the car,
For being through the tough times as well, those times when my family was in a financial crisis, and was so afraid that it would be towed away.
And this time, it really did. But not because of financial problems, it is going to be scraped.
The car retire, my dad say.
Part of my memories gone, I replied.

Subject : Nike T90 Laser II
Date of Arrival : 2 years (Estimated)
Date of Departure : 22/08/10
Cost : $87
Scrap Amount : Nil

Everyone in the soccer training should know.
This soccer boots, my SECOND soccer boot, lasted me for quite some time.
Surviving all my kicking, and all the filth and dirt and mud,
Handling all those tackle, all the slips, all the falls.
It was the first soccer boot that I was proud of, with exception of the Lotto boots.
The first stud boots I have too, although it was semi-studs.
It survived and traveled through many territories,
From Hougang (Old Anfield), Fernvale, to Punggol Secondary, Edgefield Primary.
And after being glued multiple time, it ought to be place at the back foot, and have a small rest.
You'll be my back-up shoes.
I'll come back to you, when I need you again (:

Dear floor,
You will not be as clean, anymore.
You will not smell as nice anymore.
No, I will not going to destroy you, or drill a hole in you.
But you will be poo-ed, pee-ed and slept on pretty soon :(

Arrivals

Subject : Van
Date of Arrival : 09/10/10 (Tomorrow)
Cost : $56,000

Initially, I hate the look of this van.
It look, awkward.
And actually, I prefer the van that was sent for scrap yesterday.
THAT van have memories.
This? Not yet.
However, with it's "auto-door", "automatic gear", bigger width, bigger capacity, longer in length, taller in height, "auto-lock door system", "anti-brake system" which prevent skid. I'm looking forward to it.

Subject : T90 Laser III *Same edition worn by Fernando Torres, Wayne Rooney, and Robbie Keane*
Date of Arrival : August
Cost : $169

It was all I was waiting for!
Been spying on it for a long time.
With my first fully studded boots,
Equipped with the PORON technology that is designed to improve shock absorption in the insole, five red pods that are designed to even out pressure distribution on ball contact.
Looking forward to the next soccer session.

Lastly .... !

Subject : Dog
Breed : Japanese Spitz
Date of Arrival : 1 month
Cost : $1,000
Age : 4 month +

My sister always wanted a dog,
But it came as a surprise when she suddenly pop up, and said,
"I go buy dog hor, today" and requested my father to give her a lift.
And soon after, BLING~ Dog!
LOL. It's white, and it's cute.

Last but not least,
Exams are over!
With soccer session continuing after the lads have completed their exams,
Altogether with a sushi treat by my sister tomorrow.
I see good days coming!

Mazel tov,
Everyone!

16th August 2010

2010-08-16T01:15:00.004+08:00

While I was watching the Liverpool match just minutes ago,
The match ended 1-1.
It was an own goal by the goalkeeper,
And the look on his expression,
Says it all.
Guilt, depressed, disappointment, and lastly, regret.

"Its just a game", you may say.
But in reality,
Do we face this too?
I'm not referring to any own goal you've committed,
Or any trip-over-the-branches.
It is all those tiny little regret,
That may seemed unimportant or insignificant to others,
But may deal a huge blow of regret to the party.

Regret of doing something,
Or omission of doing a particular thing,
May not only cause distress, unhappiness,
But it may also cause hatred among oneself.

I hope everyone would think before acting,
And live without regrets.

This post is very short,
And hopefully, I won't regret too.

Lastly,
I hope I don't regret, for giving you another chance.

12th August 2010

2010-08-12T13:28:00.001+08:00

Never change yourself for the sake of others. For people may come and go, but you will always be you.

11th August 2010

2010-08-11T21:50:00.007+08:00

I said there wouldn't be post.
But I'm bored, you see.

There are some things in life, you just have to hold on to,
And some things in life, you just have to let go.

I mean, in life, there are tons and tons of things for us to handle.
Family, friendships, kinship, and let's say relationship, if you're having one.
I'm not a pessimist,
But I have to agree,
That sometimes,
Life is a fuss, a problem, a trouble, or a tragedy waiting to happen.
It's funny,
How sometimes life can bring us up to the peak,
And bring us down in just a blink of an eye.

Follow your instinct,
Follow your heart,
I'm not telling you to hold onto all things,
Or letting go everything.
Follow your heart,
Your first indication,
It will lead you, to where you wanna be.

It brings me back to the year when I was having "O"-Level Examination.
I was caught in a relationship and studies trap,
I didn't know which to select.
When I say relationship,
I don't meant BGR, my friends will know.

I remember there was an Adam Khoo motivational talk,
And what many didn't knew was that,
I e-mailed him after the talk,
I told him how I was caught in between,
Stuck, and nowhere to choose.

His reply was simple,
He said, in short,
If she really cares for you,
Care for your studies,
Concern about your future,
She'll let you study first,
And waiting for you.
Because if she really care,
She'll have the patience,
To wait for you after you finish your O's.

He was right, I guess.
However,
I didn't let it make known to her,
I continued, because I loved the phone calls,
I love the closeness,
And I didn't want to lose her.

It was never easy,
Juggling between studies and maintaining closeness,
Seems to be a chore.
The feeling of guilt of not revising,
And the feeling of despair that I might let her go, creeps me.
But in the end,
The piling pressure has its toll on me,
I gave in,
And I became stressed, worked up, and ousted from my usual self.
Quarrels were created,
And eventually, she isn't by my side anymore.

I have a purpose in writing this post,
I wish to let you know, whoever you are, reading.
That some things in life, you just have to let go.

10th August 2010

2010-08-10T11:18:00.003+08:00

Should not be posting these days...

&& there might be a change in url due to some unknown taggers.

Update ya.

5th August 2010

2010-08-05T19:41:00.003+08:00

Hey hey!
No thoughts this time,
Off-form, you may say.
Hahaha, no no, kidding, just don't feel like it.
Hees.

Summary of this week?
Some ups and downs, and some weird moments.

Weird moments?
First time attending a rescheduled tutorial with strangers.

Ups?
Bought my T90 BOOTS!
*opps, that was last week, LOL*

Downs?
Left to be unsaid.

LOL.
I posted!

29th July 2010

2010-07-29T18:27:00.006+08:00

He wasn't a very very friendly guy,
Nor a guy who talk so much.
He's not that kind of guy that goes hyper,
Nor is he a guy who seemed to be filled with excitement.

There was once I met him in the lift on the way to his tutorial.
We merely smiled at one another,
No hi, no chat, nothing.

I wasn't listening attentively at the tutorial,
"What's there to teach me about how to manage MY life?", I used to say.
Yes, you may have guessed it right,
It is my Life Management Skill tutor.

Everyone has different perspective of life,
I had that thought all along,
And that everyone has the right to believe and follow what they think of life.
Be it to enjoy, or to study, to work, or to play.
But it was one tutorial, that proved me wrong.

"Class, this is good stuff,
We're not talking about academic now,
We're talking about life,
We're talking about success,
We're talking about your future.
This is good stuff that may help you along your life" He said.
It caught my attention,
Good stuff,
Is it really good stuff?
Or is it just some useless steps that we know will never come to our mind during situation arise.
But I listened, fully, for two hours, for the first time.

There's was no facebooking anymore,
No msn, no checking of hotmails,
No checking of Liverpool website.
He caught my attention,
He spoke about life,
Real phrases,
It wasn't just about phrases who say,
"If you're not a millionaire, you're a failure."
It was just phrases that are real, that are really true, that really touches you.
"With sorrow, brings us happiness,
On the other end of death, there's life.
Divorce, marriage.
Loss, gain...."
He list down with all the comparison factors,
And ends it with,
"Life is actually a good teacher, it's the society that taught people the wrong way"
He said through these ups and downs,
We learn, and we appreciate.

He said success, isn't just about money.
You can never be successful even if you rich, with a poor health, or a ruined family, or without a partner to share your joy with.
What do you value most, he asked.
Family? Career? Money? Health? Others?
Everything that you valued most, has a price to pay.
If you value family more, it means that you'll have less time for family.
The same applies to the opposite.

So what IS success, he questioned.
Success is what you define it is.
If you value money, being rich itself is a success to you.
If you value family, having time with them is itself a success.
You don't care about who other think success is,
You give success a definition.

He spoke about passion,
He also spoke about people,

It woke me up,
Because by saying that,
I realised how much I have changed,
I changed so much, that I didn't even realised.
I asked people who said I change, where DID I changed.
No one can come up with an answer.
But the tutor, unknowingly, woke me up.
I realised I have talk craps in life,
I wasn't the one who can chat so well, so lively,
Not the one who can hold up a conversation so well,
Nor a person who care as much as he did in the past, for someone needs.

It was the last 2nd tutorial.
He proved me wrong that no one can ever teach us how to live life.
I mean, he wasn't the one who speak with an intent to make you rich,
But instead, he's the one who teach with passion, and an intent to make you know yourself.
He shared things more than I've ever shared in my blog.
He isn't one who say "Life is hard, this is reality, welcome to the real world"
But he's the one who take effort to describe every bit of life, to show you the reality

Admiration,
Is the only word that can be used to describe him.

26th July 2010

2010-07-26T18:42:00.004+08:00

On my way back home after a long, tiring journey.
But along the way, something brighten up my day,
Even though the day was about to come to an end.

I was going home,
Just downstairs of my block,
I was walking, fastening my pace,
I'm tired, I needed a rest.
But not far ahead,
I saw a father with his very young kindergarten child on the pram,
He stopped just within a dozen steps away of me,
He approached the child, bended down,
And gave him one tiny peck.
Only when he stood back up, he saw me.

You can quote a price for almost everything in this world,
But fatherly love, priceless.

25th July 2010

2010-07-25T16:58:00.010+08:00

Hasn't been blogging for days.
Was busy with assignments, projects.
They were all coming to a deadline, together.
This was then, I thought how great it was, to be free.

Somethings in life we just don't notice it,
Until it's gone, be it temporary or permanently.

Have you ever fall sick,
And look at the others, who are healthy,
And wonder, "They are so good, I miss the times when I was healthy".

Or have you ever wondered the time when you were little,
When everything seemed so simple, pure,
With your mind emptied of stress.
Remembered when you were merely learning how to write letters ABC,
And yet complaining that it was tedious.
Do you think back now,
And wished it would rewind,
That you would rather write letters.

There's no way to cherish everything in the world all at once.
We cherish something,
But we tend to neglect some.
However, the one that we cherish,
Are somewhat the things what we assume to be important, to be beneficial.
And the one that we neglect are sometimes what we perceived as secondary.
Sadly, this is not true.

But it will be rectified.
Somewhere along the way,
Somewhere,
You'll realise,
What are the things that were unimportant to you, but yet you cherished.
And what are the things that were important to you, but you failed to cherish.
Unfortunately,
When you really know what is important, and what's not.
You've most probably already lose it.
Take some time out of your routine.
Take a look at what is truly important,
What really means to you.
And grab hold of it.
Hold it tight, like it's your lifeline.
Don't let it go,
And cherish it, before it's gone.

Why isn't anyone asking you questions?

2010-07-21T14:23:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I thought so too .. T_T

Ask me anything

16th July 2010

2010-07-16T16:04:00.002+08:00

After everything that happened,
Have I changed?

9th July 2010

2010-07-03T16:33:00.006+08:00

Would you ever thought that the one you love,
Will leave you one day?

Look at the people around you,
I'm not talking about death.
But look at those currently who are close one to you,
Your closest people, besides family.
It may be friends, gans, or boyf and girlf.
But, is there any thoughts of them leaving us?
The answer is,

No, we don't.
You may say we live in a world of uncertainty,
Or perhaps we're just too naive.
I love being with you,
I'll always stay right by your side.
Nothing will break us apart, not even the mountain or the sky,
No obstacles can be a barrier to us.
Its what we often say,
But will that come true?
Yes, it will,
Look at all those really happy people out there,
Those really cheerful ones,
Who feels satisfied with their lives,
And live as though they love the world.

In contrary,
What if it doesn't?
Nothing will break us apart,
These 5 words,
Was what I believed all along,
But after a separation after years of closeness,
I hope there will be another one, that will hold true to those words.

We live as though everyone around us, will stay with us, forever.
Those we like, those we love, those who accompanied us, be it happy or sad moments.
That's why cherishing, cannot be emphasized more.
Because with that belief deep inside us, thinking that they will be around us, forever,
Tends to cause things to be taken for granted.
All the care, the love, the hugs, the kisses.
Remember how good was your first hug/kisses/holding of hands,
But too often, nothing comes close to the first.
We failed to cherish sometimes,
Showing attitude when people care,
Ignoring the one you love,
Rude to them,
And give them problems after problems.
Because ...
We thought that they'll be with us,
And that however way we treat them,
They'll still remain with us.
That, may not be true.
Think again, this year, this month, this week, or today,
Had you taken anyone for granted?

Cherish, Before you lose them.

2nd July 2010

2010-07-02T20:02:00.000+08:00

"What went wrong"
Is what we usually say after something had happened.
How does a perfect love goes wrong?
But sometimes, the problem lies with ourselves.

Relationships, closeness,
Are not built over a minute, an hour, or a day.
It is built slowly,
Step by step,
Day by day.

Ever heard someone said "You can never be close to too many people"?
Getting close does not just involves saying "I love" or "I care".
It's all about action.
Would you be there to reply all the smses?
Be it urgent or just simply accompanying,
Would you be there, when needed?
Would you care, truly from your heart, rather than a moment of foolishness?
Most don't,
They want to have many close ones,
But how close can you get,
And how much time can you allocate for a person,
Is key.
Without it, how close can you be?
The worse is when relationships, be it boyf/girlf or gans, breaks, because of not allocating enough time.
This is how men are often remarked as jerks.

Everyone wants and envy people with a close one.
I mean,
Who doesn't want to have someone close,
Someone to hold on dearly in your heart?
It gives a sense of belonging,
It provides care, when needed.
It offers love, when required.
It can make you smile at the smallest thing,
Can make you so cheerful, so hyper.
It can make the world look so beautiful, its true.

But,
Choose the correct one to love, to care.
We often see people crying, sad, feeling dejected.
It's not because they are weak.
It's because there are feelings attached to people, attached to the memories.
We would often look back and recall how beautiful it was,
We'll often look at those happy moments,
All the happy times.
It hurts, and it's not just a mere adjective.

Why quarrel then?
We would say.

"The more you know a person, sometimes, the more you feel that the person isn't meant to be yours"
My friend once told me.
I don't agree much, I have to admit.
I believe that sometimes, quarreling does improve relationships.
However, its true that most relationships are ended through quarreling.
And when it ends,
We regret.
"Why did we quarrel?" would naturally comes to the mind.
We would often say it's the other party at fault.
He/she did that first! (E.g He didn't reply my sms first!)
But what didn't came to our mind was,
Is it partly our fault.
& is the problem worth quarreling, worth the risk of breaking a relationship?

We regret when its broken, when it cannot be mended.
What we can do, is only to give out chances, to try and try to mend it.
I never believe in shattered glass that cannot be mended.
Yes, there may be cracks,
But it still contain memories, even if it hurts you while trying to mend it back.
However, just like quarrels,
A few shattered glass pieces can be fixed back together easily,
But when there's too much, it may never be fixed.
Limitation, restriction,
Is important to remember during conflicts.
Things like,
Is this too much?
Is this too petty of me?
Would it hurt the relationship?

And think again,
Is it really worth it, worth putting the relationship into a situation without salvation?
Is it worth hurting both parties in the end?
Who win, who lose, doesn't matter.
It's not you or him or her that is important.
It's we, it's us, its our relationship that is important.
Recall how does quarrel begin anyway?
If you have totally no relation with one anther, would you have quarreled? No.
It's strange, relationship brings people closer,
But with relationship, comes quarrel, which pull people further.

Everyone went into quarrels without much thinking.
"It was at a moment of anger" is the excuse we use.
But think,
Is your moment of anger,
Going to cost you a relationship that might have last you, a lifetime?

26th June 2010

2010-06-26T14:40:00.004+08:00

Yesterday ...
Gerald asked me to watch World Cup at 10pm, Kar Wong's house.
After the match, we ended up playing soccer till 1:10am (LOL!)
Followed by watching Chille vs Spain match at 2:30am, this time, Kevin was here.
Reached home at 4:40am.
LOL!
My friends are crazy.
Hehe (:

23rd June 2010

2010-06-23T19:06:00.006+08:00

Have you seen the commercial on National Geographic Channel?

I was watching Air Crash Investigation while eating dinner.
Throwing the plastic containers away,
I was greeted by commercials upon returning.
However, one particular commercial caught my eye.

It started at the scene of a hospital ward,
With an old lady lying on the bed,
Together with her son, daughter-in-law, and grandson.

The commercial suddenly turn into another scene.
"One year earlier ..." The caption said.
It was the scene at home,
Whereby the same 4 people sat together in the dinning table.
"This meat is so tough! Are you trying to kill me?!" Screamed the grandmother, as she spat out the meat from her mouth.
"Try the vegetable, its softer" The son said. The grandmother refused.
Unhappy, the daughter-in-law threw away the plate of meat.
The grandson, then stared hard at his grandmother, unpleasantly, apparently disgusted.

"Why treat her so well? When she treated you and mum so bad?" The grandson said to his parents back at the hospital.

Flashbacks.
The commercial showed how the grandmother used to care about her son.
Carrying her ill son in her arms,
Waving cars down,
Yet being repeatedly splashed at by cars going by, as it was raining heavily.
When being asked to wait at the hospital,
She stroke her hand gently on his forehead in her embrace,
And sang a song, while doing this.

The commercial then return to present,
Whereby the son, now, slowly stroking his hand gently on her forehead at the hospital bed.
Singing the same song.
While doing this, the grandma shed a tear through her closed eye,
And the grandson, too, cried upon witnessing this scene.

"One generation love, another generation learn. Family"
Is the final words before the commercial ended.

In our lives,
We quarreled or even fought with our close ones.
However we always, always come back together.
May it be our parents, our siblings, or close friends,
We always have some memories attached to them.
It may be deep inside us, that we often fail to realise.
But it is actually what holds us together.
To withstand the trough of the relationship,
To withstand those bad patches.

"You can never mend a broken heart"
Or
"What's done has the done. I'm hurt"
Are all what we usually say and believe.
But in reality,
It is usually the "ups" in our lives,
All those happy times, touching moment, or caring acts,
That offset the "downs" in our lives,
All those quarrels, all those unhappiness, all those disappointment.

We often forget what others had sacrifice, or done for us.
Because the societies give us no time no look back, only ahead.

During this school holiday,
When everyone is temporarily release from those constant pressure.
Maybe it is time to look back and recall.
And also to cherish your love ones.

Because it will not only be them that you're losing,
But also memories that built up over the lifetime.

22nd June 2010

2010-06-22T13:42:00.004+08:00

Sorry guys.
Don't have the feeling to post these days ... ;x

20th June 2010

2010-06-20T18:39:00.003+08:00

Happy Fathers' Day! (:

11th June 2010

2010-06-11T12:17:00.001+08:00

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming -- WOW-- What a Ride!"
- Bill McKenna

"Life life to the fullest"
- Anonymous

You may heard of these quotes, one way or another.

Personally,
I think it is not about taking scuba diving, or trying parachuting,
Nor climbing Mount Everest, or traveling around the world.
To live life to the fullest,
Is not just to experience life adventures.
Or having to do amazing stuff.

Because,
It can be as simple as,
Happiness.

I heard the quotes years ago,
Trying different things, being adventurous,
Came to my mind instinctively,
But after years gone by,
I came to realise that the most important thing in life,
Is not about what you do in your life,
But it is about how you live your life.

Life can be lived to the fullest,
By being able to enjoy your every bit,
To live each day, like it would be your last.
To cherish it, before it's gone,
And being able to love it, before it disappears.

It can be defined as
Enjoying and doing things that you want, and not being forced to.
Time is essential,
We don't live forever.
"Why study then", I used to say.
Enjoy, doing things that we want,
Is often what we presumed as happiness,
It can be as big as going overseas, having a big birthday party,
Or it can be as tiny as using the computer, a phone call.
But what actually occupies a large portion of our life,
Is actually work.
Let's face it, we HAVE to work,
Explanation can be waived.
We heard adults moaning about them,
Complaining, and down with pressure because of it.
Why do they moan, I thought to myself,
"It's better than studying!"

On the contrary ...

"Boy, studying is better than working", those aunties would say.
However, working can be better than studying,
If, and only if, you enjoy your work.
Would you want to work in a job you have no interest in,
Or would you do something, to change "work", into something that you love.
Working occupies a large portion of our life,
If it's enjoyable,
It's equivalent to enjoying life.
Isn't that living to the fullest, too?
Yes, but it comes with a cost,
Cost of studying,
Cost of doing things you don't love for years.
Whether it's worthy or not, is up to individuals.

Treat everyday like your last day on earth,
I heard many saying.
But it ain't easy.
Make sure everyday is filled with happiness,
Make each day enjoyable, worth living for, is all that matters.
Yes,
There may be heartbreaks here and there,
Besides joy and happiness,
There are always tears and sadness,
Heartbreaks and sorrow.
But brush it aside, be it little by little, bit by bit.
Cause,
Enjoying each day, living life to the fullest,
Is all that matters.

7th June 2010

2010-06-07T19:42:00.006+08:00

Met one of my Secondary School schoolmate I've never seen for a long time at SPC, buying Ice Latte :P

She said she's one of my blog zhong shi reader.
LOL! So touched!
You know who you are,
Hi (:

Not forgotting...
K. Huilin!
LOL!
Who never failed to miss any.

Kevin as well!
Look at the tagboard, all his
*touched*
He even notice I got some new songs and 2 Over's.
xoxoxoxo! LOL! JKJK!
Anyway, Kevin, your name gonna change soon.
Rafa Benitez left.... T_T
Sir Kevin Phua!

So good uh, dedicate a big big post here just for you guys.
Not bad not bad.

6th June 2010

2010-06-06T17:50:00.001+08:00

I don't know what you want, really.

3rd June 2010

2010-06-03T17:36:00.004+08:00

Earth's doing fine?
Spare me a minute.

Just like the letter "H" reminds history people of "Hitler" and WWE fans of "Triple H".
Or the word "ions" reminds shoppers of "Orchard", and struck scientist as "Chemistry".
The trees I saw around me on my route to school, reminds me of Geography.
Have you ever glanced out of the bus window,
And realise all the trees around?
Be it individual trees or a forest.
They were the ones maintaining the earth, the real natural resources.

But as I was on my way back a few days ago,
Travelling from Clementi, Ang Mo Kio, Bishan, Hougang, Sengkang and Punggol,
That particular bridge linking Punggol and Sengkang struck me.
I looked out of the window when the bus reached the peak of the bridge,
I saw a lot of trees, a lot.
But no, they're separated by expressways and lamp posts,
And the expressway are never once, empty.
We're the one who needs place to live in,
But somehow, one way or another, we are ruining it.
We are taking away what's essential for earth,
It's like taking bit of bit of soul in your body,
We complained and argued that the earth sucks at making this place so warm,
However, we are the one who caused it.

Take a look at the amount of papers you have, currently,
Estimate how much you've used in your lifetime,
And imagine the total amount of papers used by billions and billions of people.
Most claim they will do their part to save the earth,
Most say they would, to prevent global warming,
But there they are, taking unnecessary plastic bags for things like pens, foolscap, or a 500ml drink.

Look out of your window,
Remind yourself that the place was once filled with hundreds and thousands trees,
And see for yourself, what has become of the land.

I'm not trying to be geography extremist here,
But with temperature hitting an all-time high of 34 or 35 degree Celsius,
I believe something has to be done.

29th May 2010

2010-05-29T15:59:00.004+08:00

Was pondering,
Wondering,
Deciding,
Contemplating,
Between posting and playing Pro Evolution Soccer 2010.
But, here I am.
LOL!

Sometimes in life,
We encountered problems,
Or we had sudden thoughts that made our emotion suffered.
However,
We often vent our angry and unhappiness on someone else,
Someone that is entirely not involved nor is the cause of your unhappiness.

Sad to say,
I did that, yesterday. *vesak day! ;DD*
Some things went through my mind just after I woke up.
It circulate in it, then play play inside. *dammit!*
As such, my emotion suffered, and so is my mood.
And I screwed up yesterday.

If you're wondering what *played played* inside,
It's just some thoughts 'bout the post on 12th may.
Would it happen twice?
Did I made the right choice?
What if she's down one day, and needs somebody?
I would want to be there, wouldn't I? But, will I be able to?
Anyway, I'm happy for her that she's living perfectly now.

Back to the point,
My family went out together for breakfast.
And I vented my frustration on my parents. *yes, I'm guilty*
Showed attitude,
And lack of patience when queueing up for food.
Fortunately, they didn't quarreled with me.

Sometimes, when we get frustrated, upset, or angry about stuffs.
We may, consciously or sub-consciously vent our anger on somebody else.
Ever notice that your attitude change, into a more remote one, when you're in a bad mood?
I looked back, and I felt a sense of guiltiness.
Because imagine myself in their shoes,
Getting bombed with attitude and tempers, isn't pleasant.
Because in the end of the day,
They woke me up, and brought me to breakfast.
And it's been long since they done that.
And I should have appreciate it, not ruin it.

That's why, sometimes, we feel that everything is not going right,
Because once we screwed something up, we tend to screw all the other things up.
Our mood, not only affects us,
But it hurt others as well.
Words, can be the most powerful, yet hurtful thing.
A word "I love you" can make you feel so much better, so much security, so much appreciated.
Yet, a word "I hate you" can lower your self-esteem so much.
But most of the times,
We just burst words without thinking,
We just say it at the moment of anger,
But what happens next, and how does the other party feels, doesn't come into our contemplation.
It makes us feel better when we vent our anger,
But what about the other party?
Do they feel better?
Or do they feel hurt by such words.
After all, the person that we usually vent our anger on,
Is normally the people who are close to us.
Would you imagine your close ones, venting anger on you like you do?
It hurts, it must have hurt.

Moods, can affect the words you use,
And words, can make or break a relationship.

25th May 2010

2010-05-25T22:47:00.003+08:00

Dammit! I feel like posting,
But don't know what to post.
Running out on ideas.
Hehe ;x

23rd May 2010

2010-05-23T16:39:00.001+08:00

"The one that we're often careless about the choice of words, are usually always the one that we care for, the most"
- LMS Tutor on lesson of Understanding You And Me

Have you ever thought of the most recent word you said to your love ones?
The sentence by the tutor, struck me hard.
Because thinking back,
The statement was indeed true.
What did you say do your parents, normally?
Were you rude, or did you ignored them?
When was the last time you showed them how important they are?
And when was the last time you said thank you to them?
If you're attached,
Your boyfriend or girlfriend will obviously comes to your mind,
But to be fair, set aside a few years before relating him/her to this phrase for consideration.

It's weird, ain't?
Shouldn't the one that we care the most, love the most,
Be the one that we speak nicely to?
Time is the killer.
As time goes by,
Human never failed to lose the ability to appreciate for a particular thing.
We "depreciate" them ourselves as the times goes by.

We don't care about our words,
There's no second set of thinking,
Because we often assumed that we're so close, and that it would never hurt.
That's a misconception.
The words that comes out from the people we care are usually the most important and can be easily hurt.
That is why sometimes, we got angry or upset by what the other party say.
But think again,
Did you hurt them as well?
Yes, they may be important to you.
But what makes you think that you aren't important to them, as well?
*think think think hard! LOL*

And thus, sometimes our words tend to weigh more than it usually is.
It can easily cheer the other party up,
Or you can bring down the knees of them.
You may even burst into tears.

However,
Sometimes, the other party isn't really showing his/her unhappiness.
He/she may brush it aside abruptly,
And continue to treat you as well, as sweet, as loving, as caring as they would be.
They may last it well, or they may treat it as nothing and didn't mind at all.
But, is it fair, sometimes?
Because when you're finally thinking, and think back, it may be too late.

Treasure,
But show your appreciate as well.
Love them, show that you love them.
Because if you don't,
They will never know in their lives,
How much you do.

21st May 2010

2010-05-21T16:19:00.003+08:00

I heard a phrase on the radio on my way to school ...

"If a person doesn't love you the way you want them do, it doesn't means that they doesn't love you with all they do"

Relationships.
We often imagine a relationship the way we wished for.
A close relationship or an intimate one.
The one with loads of hugs, kisses and love.
But whether that is the criteria to last, is another matter.

A friend told me before,
That normally, love between our parents are long gone, and that they are holding on the relationship because of the family. Without children, they would have chosen to break apart.

In reality,
Love is not all about getting intimate.
If you love another person because of intimacy, that's not love.
Because you have to realise that people does change over time.
Thinking back to 5 years ago,
Were you the same?
The happy little kid who complains about homework that seems so easy nowadays.
Or the kid who was playing catching, giggling and shy in front of girls? (lol)

Because in any relationship,
A couple may not be as close as they were as times flies by.
Their love had not worn off.
It's because things change.
He may not be as romantic, as cheerful and as exciting anymore.
He may not be the one who was so successful in cheering you up anymore.
But,
That does not means that he doesn't love you the same way he does in the past.
Through stories,
We've often heard that "No, he's changed, he's no longer the one that I loved."

"Love me for a reason.
Let the reason be love"
Boyzone - Love me for a reason.

In the beginning,
The reason you love him, is not because of who he is or what he is, just him.
It should never be based on appearance nor impression or previous experiences.
That's why people emphasized on not going for appearance.
Because appearance does change,
And so does impression to be ruined.
Love the person by the one that is in that body,
Not because of how good he looks.

If you love someone because of certain factor, or much worse, appearance.
It's time to consider, twice.

19th May 2010

2010-05-19T16:11:00.003+08:00

Poly.
During the first week of school,
I screamed, shouted and demanded for a change of class every semester.
I prayed and hoped that I'll have different class next semester.
I didn't expect it to come true.

"Next semester different class leh" one of my classmate said *I forgot who*
It strikes me, lol.
Because after all these 5 weeks,
I know and recognised them as the class for the entire poly life.
And I started knowing them, chatting,
And also took my time, as I thought there's another 3 years.
The class ain't that bad after all.
Yeah, there's some that we don't really bond with,
But other than that,
The class is not as bad as I expected it to be.

But realising it's only 6 weeks or more left.
Took me by surprise.
LOL.

Looking at it in a bigger picture ...
Doesn't it means that ....
I have to go new classes and make friends every 6 months?!

17th May 2010

2010-05-17T17:31:00.003+08:00

Cliques.
I spoke to one of my friends before.
An outside-school friend.
I remembered we somehow chatted to the topic of friends.
And we talked about changing of cliques.
How many times, etc.

Unlike my polytechnic class whereby there are 2 or 3 cliques with distinct differences.
Secondary school life was unpredictable.
There were so many different friends, so many different groups.

We kept finding a clique who we think is one we belong.
But I'm happy, because I've found mine.

No, it's not because they play soccer with me.
It's just the way we are.
They may or may not seen my previous post.
But they didn't even asked "What happened?" or say "Cheer up!"
And managed to cheer me up instinctively.
All the jokes, all the talks, made me feel so, so much better.
We got so many different people.
And together as a clique,
There's always someone to cheer you up instantly, gives constructive advice, and provide smart suggestion.

Thanks guys,
And PLEASE SUPPORT LIVERPOOL!
LOL!

12th May 2010 (The Final Memories..)

2010-05-12T17:51:00.011+08:00

I should have known.
Stupid boy,
I should have known.

I've posted a lot about you before.
But I think this will be the last one.
Because you and I know very well, this could be the end.

I'm grateful.
Because 4 years,
4 years is what it takes for us to break apart.
Remember back in Audition,
While I was playing with my friends, Jasmine and Joey.
I didn't know I would met you.
And I didn't know what I would be now, if we didn't met.
We were in the same room, club dance room, I remember.
With the beginner hairstyle and shirt bought with audition dens.
One look, and you know it's noob.
But you choose me for partner.
I was bemused,
And chosen you during the second time.
It was when, we knew one another.

We started off adding one another in the game.
Then proceed to adding each other in msn.
We didn't talk much for weeks, or even months.
Until one day, you asked me to be your kor.
It was unexpected, because I've never had any gans, before.
I was happy, very happy.
We begin talking and you approach me every time you had problems.
And I would be the one, counseling you, cheer you up, make you happy.
It was cute, thinking back those days, when 2 young kids are supporting one another.

One day, you called me.
You said hi.
And asked whether I know who you are.
I replied "yes...", bluntly, because in reality, I don't know, but find it rude to say "no".
I'm your gan mei, you said.
And we hung up the phone shortly after you asked what I was doing.
It was a short phone call.
But you were the first girl, who called me through phone.
I was embarrassed.

Through it all, you started to call me every time you were bored.
And I heard your cries, your laughter, and you brought joy to my life through your cheerfulness.
But in one another, we knew we're very different.
You were rebellious, and I was the opposite.

Nevertheless,
We linked up.
I remember the first time we met.
You claimed you wanted to come to Sengkang.
I waited for you,
But you didn't arrive.
I called you,
And you were at your grandma house.
I went to find you.
And I met you, for the first time.

From then on,
I started to meet you more and more often.
Sometimes I even lied to my parents.
I was there when you cried,
You never failed to look for me,
And I'd always be there.
I asked about your "priority",
And during that time,
I was 2nd most important, behind your boyfriend.
I was alright with it.
And actually, I liked it.
Because out of so many kors you "recruited",
I'm the closest, unknowingly.
I was finally the person closest to you, when you're single.

We went on,
And we started to chat regularly.
I remember returning home immediately after school to call you.
To chat with you till the time you fall asleep.
We seemed to be able to chat non-stop.
Everything under the sun, we used to say.
My mum didn't liked it in the first place,
But I managed to persuade her.
We chat from the time you wake up, till you sleep during the holidays.
We chat about your friends, your families,
We joke about things,
And we shared everything.
We chatted and chatted, and chatted like there's no tomorrow.

Two years ago,
I was about to leave Singapore,
To Sydney, for the first time.
You came and visited me at the airport.
You gave me a box, filled with straw hearts and two letters.
1 from you, and 1 from Jasper.
I took the letters up to the plane.
I remembered you bade goodbye reluctantly,
You asked me what are you suppose to do without all those calls.
Suddenly, it hits me, how much I will miss you.
You called just before I board the plane,
It was just like in dramas,
The reception calling for boarding.
And you were crying before you hung up.
Crying, no one ever did that, for me.
You're the first girl, that ever cried, for me, did you know?

After all those times visiting you,
And you sending me to the lift lobby.
One day, before entering the lift.
You spread your arms wide.
A sign for hug.
& you're the first girl, that I've ever hugged.

We smsed a lot during school hours.
Everyone thought you were my girlfriend.
But you weren't,
Because girlfriends doesn't last that long.
But we stayed close, for so long.

You were the girl I was looking for.
I always wanted a girl for me to really care, to really love, to really give it all.
I always wanted a girl who share her every problems.
A girl who trust me, a girl whom I can get close with.
You were the one, you were.
And I really treasure you, with all I can.
I'd never thought I'll lose you.

You changed,
You became more obedient, you study more.
And I got a good impression from your parents.
Everything was perfect.
Perfect.

Remember on my birthday?
I wanted to give you a surprise.
You always wanted roses, flowers.
I went to buy it for you.
It cost me, but I didn't mind, I was happy.
You said I was crazy when I gave it to you.
Happy, because I am the first, to give you flowers.
It was also the first time I held your hand.
Because I said "Jasper, you're so good because your sister is holding your hand. She never hold mine before". (lol)

You were going overseas,
Korea, I recalled.
I learnt to fold stars, just for you.
I folded them after you've slept, every night.
It wasn't really my type of things, to fold stars.
But I enjoyed it.
And my mother fold some swans for you, too.
It was meant to be a surprise, too.
Because I told you I've done nothing for you, and said sorry.
You grumbled about your rebonded hair.
But still, you looked wonderful.

The chalet,
Yes, we ended up bad.
But you slept on the sofa and I was supporting your head as you sleep.
I didn't slept that night.
But remember that adult cockroach?
Thank god I didn't sleep.

Soon after, you turned back to who you were.
You said this is the real you.
I accepted that after a long time.

Somehow, we've fallen apart during my secondary 4 year.
I written something about you in a ball, which I will be collecting in 4 years time from now.
You were in my plan,
My future.
But we had too many quarrels,
It was mostly my fault, I failed to control my temper.
But after that year, after O'level.
I fought hard, to get back.
But it was never successful,
We'll break apart again.
I was stubborn.
I persisted,
I tried again and again,
But we ended up hurt repeatedly.
I've never cried for a girl before.
But I did, a lot of times, for you.
And you're the first girl, I cried for.

Many of my friends, my colleagues used to say,
"She's just a gan, don't have to feel so hurt because of her"
And you used to say,
"You're caring too much, I'm just your gan mei".
You were right,
But I only have 1 gan mei,
And I really gave it all,
I really cared whole-heartedly.

How close we were,
No one will ever know.
We better lead our own lives, you said last night.
After all these falls,
We choose to give up.

"If I let you go, I'll never know.
What my life would be, holding you close to me.
Will I ever see, you smiling back at me.
How would I know, if I let you go"
Westlife - If I let you go

You changed me,
You completed me.
Thanks for teaching me how people flirt,
So that I won't fall into their trap.
But believe me,
I'd never use those tricks to flirt.
Because you taught me that with an intention of me not to fall into their traps.
Thanks for caring for me.
Sorry that I've made you cry over the years,
That I've cared too much,
Find too many problems with you.
My heart aches,
It doesn't just aches,
It goes numb, I swear.
But I'll let you go,
If not it will be more hurting.
Seeing you online, I want to talk to you, real bad.
I miss you, I really do.
I really hope you care, I really miss those moment.
I care, but I care too much.
I get jealous easily.
I miss those moments,
But these are all memories.
You move on,
Because we can't be mended anymore, you said.

Lately I've been thinking about what I can do I've been stressing to fall back in love with you I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through But I can't go on this way. I've got to stop it babe You've been wonderful in all that you can be But it hurts when you say that you understand me.
I've been pushing hard to open up the door Trying to take us back to where we were before But I'm done. I just can't do this anymore 'Cuz we can't be mended, so let's stop pretending now We've been walking around in circles for some time And I think we should head for the finish line.
- You.

I had to admit you are right.
Perhaps we just can't be mended, anymore.
It's no use pretending,
We've been walking around in circles.
Go, lets head for the finish line.
I'm not a good kor, and I'll never be.

"One last cry,
Before I leave it all behind."
One last cry - Brian Mcknight

I just want a person, whom I can really really really, dote on.

10th May 2010

2010-05-10T22:00:00.007+08:00

Love - To hold on, or to let go

I just finished watching a show in Channel 8.
Life,
Love,
In our mind,
Is too simple.
Make friends, know more about one another,
Get together, marry.
Simple love.

But in the show,
A girl had just given up a guy, for the sake of his happiness.
She sees happiness in him, when he's with another girl.
It must have hurt... it must have hurt... a lot.
Loving someone, yet have to let it slip out of your hand.
Is love not so much about being with someone,
But is about who they are happy with?
The song "知足", said it best.
如果你快乐不是为我会不会放手其实才是拥有.

It's easier said than done.
In life,
We are constantly finding someone,
Who links with us.
The ideal one.
The one we've seems to have waited eternity for.

"I don't know how you do what you do, I'm so in love with you" , Lonestar - Amazed
The reason I quoted this song,
Is because when you love somebody,
Everything he/she does seems so perfect,
So delicate,
So unique.
And giving it up,
Means you're probably not going to find someone quite as the same.
Would you give up your love, for the happiness of the one you love?

There's 2 sayings.

"Love is selfish"
"Love is unselfish"

More than often,
I see so many couples around.
Loving one another, sweet love.
Cherish it.
Because finding someone you love that truly loves you back,
Ain't easy.

6th May 2010

2010-05-06T18:03:00.004+08:00

When I stepped into the lift today while on my way up.
A child and the maid were in the same lift.
As the lift began to ascend,
The kid start to name every numbers on the lift.
One, two, three, four, five ... all the way until seventeen.
He stopped, as it is the maximum level.
And then continue to twenty-one, when I left the lift.

He was young, very young.
A child-care children.
Probably nursery level?
At such a young age, he could recite so much?
It's been long since I've attended kindergarten.
And may not know about this.
But frankly,
Would anyone years ago would've thought a child this young, can pronounce from one to at least 21?
Let's not pull it too far,
Let's make it the previous generation,
Would anyone from the previous generation expect that?
No, because in the past.
A PSLE, or a Primary school dropout, would get you a decent job.
Needless to say, a Secondary school education, would get you a high post.

Ever heard people saying,
"What you learn now, might be what the sec 1 or sec 2 will be learning in a few years time."
Education had grown rapidly.
From learning numbers in Primary school.
Children are already learning almost everything they could contain immediately after their first word.
It's stunning, yet it is in reality.

This is how people are driven crazy.
Kindergarten kids get stressed by going to school.
Primary school child get stressed by homeworks.
Secondary school child get stressed by expectations, by teachers.
Polytechnic student get stressed over the long hours of lectures, tutorials.
Primary schools have their PSLE.
Secondary schools have their O lvl.
Polytechnics have their diploma.
University got their degrees.
In every institution, there are pressure and obstacles to go through, and to strive, to do well.
And that's why people go into depression, commit suicide.
I don't blame them,
Blame the ever-changing society.

Can you imagine the children of future generation?

2nd May 2010

2010-05-02T18:40:00.004+08:00

"How do you keep loving someone when they are no longer the same person?
It's not that you don't love them.
It's worse than that. You don't even know them."
- "Starting Over" by Tony Parsons

It's confusing, I thought.
What about you guys?
We often say we'll love somebody no matter how much they change.
We always say that signifies true love.
The way you will still love somebody as much, no matter what they become.
It's easy to say.
But to do it?
Reflect again.

Sometimes in love, (or crush)
We saw that coming.
Sometimes, we see our partner changing.
Be it because you know him/her a little bit more,
Or it is a sudden, unexpected change.
Let's face it,
Most of us are attracted to the other partner by many factors.
How they smile,
They joke,
And cheer you up,
Tease you,
React to different situations,
Their typing,
Intimacy,
Sense of assurance,
The way they concern,
Provide sense of security,
The way they show their love,
Their way of caring.
Or it could be how fun the other person is,
How it seems that you can talk about everything under the sun,
Or how much love their contain.
There's plenty.

It's true,
When somebody change,
It's not that you don't love them anymore.
You do, in fact, you really want them to be back to whom they were.
They're no longer the ones who held long phone chats with you,
The ones who're that close to you, anymore.
You want them back, you do.
Let them be, still love them, still support them, any person from a 3rd party view will say.
But how?
It seems like you don't know them anymore.
They're just like a complete stranger,
Whom you know were once so so close to you,
The one that you really cared, and really gave it all.
You're in dilemma,
Because you know,
Deep inside that soul, was someone you knew.
However, it seems to be gone.
But you couldn't let it go.
After all, it's still him, still her.
What if you let them go?
What if you regret?
And what if they turned back to who they were, the one that you knew?
Would you find somebody like them again?
Would you find another person that you would really gave so much, cared?
Would you?

It would be perfect, if none in the party change.
But if they do,
Try everything you can.
If all else fail,
It's time to let go.

28th April 2010

2010-04-28T18:09:00.004+08:00

I was at the salon/barber(?) shop when I read this book.
Its titled "Starting Over" by Tony Parsons, a good read.
I saw this phrase which made me held my breath.
Here it is ...

"How do you keep loving someone when they are no longer the same person?
It's not that you don't love them.
It's worse than that. You don't even know them."

Actually I copied the whole paragraph of it,
But was afraid of copyright infringement.
However, as a whole,
The paragraph was saying that it started out with all those unconditional, sweet, seem-to-be-everlasting love.
But then he (the husband) changes and she finds it hard to love him as much as she did in the past.

Great book.

27th April 2010

2010-04-27T20:37:00.003+08:00

Shouldn't have cared ... at all ...
No, I shouldn't ...

18th April 2010 (The day before Poly life starts)

2010-04-18T19:57:00.004+08:00

Oh my ...
Poly gonna start tomorrow.
Already printed so many lecture notes for tomorrow.
And it's only the FIRST lesson!
What about the second, third, and fourth lesson?
Luckily, when I glance at the lecture notes, it's actually quite interesting! (:

With the start of my poly life,
I couldn't sleep late anymore,
There's no more late night audition-ing with almost-empty sever, gloating over the fact that all pri/sec school students are sleeping
Because now, it's my turn unable to sleep late.
There's no more waking up with the sun already shining.
It's waking up with a "night" sky.
Cold, breezy, and quiet.
From tomorrow onwards,
I can no longer stare at the computer, played every single games until I'm bored and aimless.
I can no longer watch Friends the whole day, or play Final Fantasy throughout the night.
There's no more toning, no more relaxation.
Oh my ... How successful am I to make it sound so devastating.
Hahaha!

It's 8pm now.
Few more hours before I sleep.
Oh!
And I can no longer wait till I'm REALLY tired before going to bed.
Oh dear .... oh dear ....

16th April 2010

2010-04-16T20:32:00.002+08:00

Went to swim again with THEM again. LOL!

Anyway, installed few games on my laptop.
For PES, there's something fishy with the arrow keys.
For FF7, I can't find the num enter key.
For Audition, it lags and perfect becomes bad, and great become miss.

That's it.
My laptop is game-ist.
And now, I have nothing, nothing, to do.

15th April 2010

2010-04-15T19:29:00.003+08:00

Hi all! (:
Thanks for visiting, if anyone of you see this, hees!

Got my laptop yesterday!
Not used to it.
Not used to the arrow buttons being so small,
Not used of the keyboard so confined,
& not used to Window 7 *where's the Show Desktop button? @_@*
Playing PES with laptop is a hindrance as well, $@#$#@$!

Anyway, REPORTING TIME!
Went swimming with clinque few days ago,
Swim swim and swim.
And Kar Wong did well,
He improved a lot in his swimming!
Hehe! *patt patt*
By the way, besides playing wrestling, we did something stupid.
Hint : We swim a lap or two consecutively...
Haha! Shhhhh! LOL!
After swimming, bought double mcspicy and ate it on Dad's car.

Today, went to accompany father to get his car fixed.
Halfway through the repair, it rained.
It's been long since I'm drenched :P

That's all for today.

Open to suggestion on what to post.
Democratic! Haha!

9th April 2010

2010-04-09T18:24:00.006+08:00

As I was waiting for the lift to reach my level.
There was a family sharing the lift with me.
A couple probably in their 30's with a young child, possibly 2 years old.
Throughout the short waiting in the lift,
The child in the mother's arm took a glance and me, and smiled momentarily.
When the doors of the lift opened,
And the rays of the sunlight emits into the lift.
He spun his head around,
And smiled again when he leaves the lift.

I remembered those memories,
I remembered those times,
When you were young,
And everything seems so peaceful.
There's no pressure, no problems.
The world seems perfect,
And you can't help but hope it would stay like this forever.
It was all about playing,
All about enjoying,
All about fun, laughter, and companions.
So wonderful that you can even smile at little things in life.

But as we grow old,
Things change.
We're no longer the child who smiles every so often,
The child with no problems,
No pressure.
It isn't just about playing and enjoying now.
It's all about studies, about pressure, about expectations,
Or even relationships.

How did all these problems arised, you ask yourself.
Or how did the world changes.
Blame everyone,
Blame yourself.
Because during the process whereby we grow old,
We demand more.

We no longer settle for milk, we want porridge.
But soon enough,
We realise that we don't want porridge anymore, solid food taste nicer.
But then again, you changed,
You don't want just any random food, you want a drumstick, you want ice cream, you want an abalone.
You despise any regular home cook soup, you want the ones made of shark fins.

You hate just having families during your birthday now, you want guests.
You don't just want birthday cake now, you want presents.
You no longer hope for a mini celebration, you want a party.
And before long, you realise your birthday party just becomes more and more grand.

Human beings are greedy, so they say.
Once we attain something, we get "used" to it.
We no longer find it special, or something to be happy about.
We don't cherish it anymore, just like the toys we cast aside.
No, that's not all.
Instead, you want more.
You demand something else, better, better, and better.
But somehow, we often fails to realise something.
To all of us, we don't seems to have the best.
Why?
Because even when we got something we used to deem the best,
You just adapt to it and instead of settling for it,
You want something else.
And this is a never ending story.

To get back on track,
When we keep constantly demand for more,
We are no longer satisfied.
Cause we want more, always.
It's because of all these demands,
That sometimes break a relationship, that cause family to drift apart.
Because whatever they used to do for you, is no longer enough.
You don't want your girlfriend to just talk to you, you want them to obey you.
You don't simply stay satisfied when your girlfriend accompanies you, you want her to only have you in her world.
You no longer give in, you want the other party to do that instead.
You don't want just a sms, you want a call.
And when you have it, you want the call to last the whole day.
And even if it lasted the whole day, you want to meet her every single hour.

That's what we've become, ladies and gentlemen.
We create problems for ourselves.
There's two Chinese words that someone taught me.
知足, she said.
Be happy with what you got.
Because unless we settle for what we got, happiness is distant.

I said I hope to have your reply by the time I wake up.
And when I opened my eyes, and realise there's none.
I don't want to wake up.

8th April 2010

2010-04-08T20:34:00.004+08:00

Day two

It was games, games and games.
Burst some ballons after losing a sisscors paper stone game ><>Day two (today)

Day two (today)

Went go Ngee Ann Polytechnic alone,
Because Kar Wong's sick.
7 out of 10 people came.
Did a lot a lot of cheering,
And witness a lot a lot of performance.
Well, I must say today is our loudest cheering of all.
However, when the BASOC program was about to end,
They showed a video clips of the things we did throughout the three days.
And it ended with ...
"This brings to the end of the three days whereby new friendships were created..."
At this moment,
I realised that throughout these 3 days,
I did not really form any new friendships.
Yeah, maybe I get to know few out them.
But it's just not as close as you would normally be after 3 days.
It's sort of ... argh!
Maybe my group was too shy,
With conversations rarely strike up.
Or maybe we're too afraid of screwing up our first impression.
Maybe? Perhaps? I thought so.
I'm pretty sure when school starts, it would be different!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, my computer is not alright.
Screw it!
&& I still haven't find out the result of the Man Utd match.
Will go check very soon.
Update later.

(10 mins later)

Oh man, my prediction is wrong.
Seems controversial, red card? oO?

6th April 2010

2010-04-06T19:40:00.004+08:00

First day of Induction Camp!
Actually not counted as a camp, it's not overnight, thank god, lol!
9am met Kar Wong at Punggol MRT and took train to Clementi.
& took bus to Ngee Ann Poly.
Turns out that there's around 5 or 6 in my group live at Punggol!
Haha!
Sort of boring because the group was not hyper enough,
&& in addition, I did not have enough sleep.
But damn, the long mrt rides really took a toll on me.
While going home, wanted to sleep, but couldn't sleep, but about to doze off, but still couldn't sleep.
Hehe (:
Anyway, do all those normal things any camp would do on their first day.
However, we went to the Atrium (is it?)
And there was some performance, cheerleadings, band, all these.
But the thing that really stands out is the dance.
They reminds me of the game Audition!
It looks exactly like "Ballroom dance".
I don't know much about name of dances, eg, tango, jazz, etc.
But there were slow and fast dance.
& when it's slow dance, it looks like you've dancing in audition with a slow song (movement is slow, etc)
&& when it's a fast dance, it looks like you've just changed the music to the fastest song! LOL!
And they will start to dance very very fast.
Reminds me of playing ballroom dancing, hees!
Life-version of it too! Haha!

Really really tired now,
Sleeping soon.

Oh ya,
Manchester United will lose 4-3 on aggregate today.
Don't forget where you heard it first!

2nd April 2010

2010-04-02T20:51:00.005+08:00

Hello fellow readers! (:

1st April 2010
April Fools' Day!
Had fun with Kevin, Gerald, Kar Wong and Ashley as we went out together!
Met at Dhoby Ghaut at 2pm and went to Plaza Sing to buy movie tickets.
Ate at Xin Wang ...

Hehe! ;DD
Played pranks on Kar Wong as well!
LOL!

4:10pm
Went cinema and watch-ed Clash Of Titans 3D.
It was nice tho!
First movie I've ever watched in 3D *opps!*
Haha!

6:10pm
After movie,
We stroll around Orchard Road aimlessly,
Shopped with Ashley as she tries out all the sunglasses,
Went baby ape,
Entered a bookstore (forgot the name)
& saw an interesting book.
"Rules Of Life" is the title.
It states all the "rules" in life to attain happiness and contentment,
And were separated into 3 sections.
Yourself, your relationship with your partner, and lastly, your relation with family.
Nice read tho.
Halfway through, Ashley went ION.
So we made our way to ION.

Went home via MRT, while Kar Wong, Kevin and Gerald wanted to go Kbox.
Home sweet home! (:

Down with fever now ... lol.

30th March 2010

2010-03-30T20:22:00.003+08:00

Nothing much to blog ...
Just feel the urge to post.
Hi, bye! ;DD

28th March 2010

2010-03-28T12:10:00.007+08:00

Maybe it was just my fault, afterall ...
I don't fit to be your kor.
I get so confused, frustrated.
But I'll take a step back, I'll let you go.
I don't want any hurt anymore.

25th March 2010

2010-03-25T14:52:00.003+08:00

As I was looking out of my window,
A phrase suddenly came to my mind.
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus".
Yes, they shouldn't clash.
They're just like day and night.
That will never come together.

But how does attraction works, really?
It's amazing,
Out of so many people,
Why him? Why her?
And how did it start from the first impression, to chatting, and to getting close.
And lastly, get together?

But who would've ever thought of this?
Everyone just took attraction for granted.
The real meaning of getting into a relationship,
Is when both sides are attracted to one another and love each other at the same time.
No, it's not what we often portray as,
"Oh! She love me? Shall give it a try?"
No, it shouldn't work this way.
If you truly loves someone,
You don't have to "try".
It's the feel, the love.
Which,
If you have it, you have it.
You don't have it, so be it.
This is why I often wondered whether relationship has lost all it's meanings.

Love can be so sweet.
It can be a shoulder to cry on,
A listening ear to rely on.
Or just a returning call when you hang up.
It can be as sweet as watching the stars together,
As big as a hug, a kiss, holding of hands,
And it can also be as insignificant as giving in, caring and understanding.
More than often,
It may brings you joy and laughter,
A companion,
A touch of happiness.
And also a sense of belonging,.
However, in the process,
There may be tiny quarrels, tolerating grudges,
But after all, it's worth every bit of it.
Being there, giving in, thoughtful, is all that matters.

Attraction, as well as love, is complicated.

They can make you smile at tiny little things,
And make you go sad the next moment.

They can bright up every little stars in your sky,
And they can blow out all the lights out in your world.

That's how happiness derived from the former,
And how heartbreak are used for the latter.

All in all,
If found someone you really love,
And that the person truly loves you.
Treasure it,
Because,
There isn't really much relationships as true as it should be.

21st March 2010

2010-03-21T16:26:00.003+08:00

Hello all!
I'm currently bored, staying at home. BORED, gettit?
*hint hint, sms sms, call call* ^^
Anyway, race timing for the North East Run is out,

Bib number : 3613
PHUA XIN XING
Start time :07:46:54
Gun time :00:28:01.50
Net time : 00:27:40

Woots! (:
But my ranking is #!@#!@%!@#$.
1st place came in at ... *ah, let's skip this ;DD*
Going out to eat with parents soon.
But still...bored bored bored *hint again*
LOL!

19th March 2010

2010-03-19T19:11:00.013+08:00

Would you still love your partner if he/she turns ugly or become poor?

Who doesn't want to lead a good life?
A wealthy life whereby you can buy anything you want,
Whereby there's no financial difficulties?

& Who doesn't want to have a beautiful wife, a charming husband,
Whom you can admire,
Whom you feel great to be beside with?

But a sudden thought came to my mind.
If everyone does the same.
What's true love, then?
There are people who choose their partners by their appearance,
And now, there are also people who choose their partners by their wealth.
People do change, we often say.
And appearance and wealth changes too through the years.
You're gorgeous, doesn't mean it will be the same way in your next 50 years.
Same goes to your wealth.
So what if you're wealthy at a point of time?
You may be broke ANYTIME.

So, what happens if YOUR partner whom you choose based on wealth and appearance,
Suddenly become poor and ugly?
Would you still love them as you do?
Or would you blame your luck?
Does divorce happens because of this? Maybe.

Which kind of partner are you?
The one who really love your partner for who he/she is.
Or the one who love based on superficial benefits?

But tell you what,
Break, stead, break, stead,
Married, divorced, married, divorced,
You'll never find the guy/girl you wanted.
Blame time,
Because beauty and wealth can't last forever.

17th March 2010

2010-03-17T16:29:00.003+08:00

Wanted to post about today.
But after reading what I wrote,
I think it'll bore you to death,
Which is not the ending I wanted.
So, next time! (:

13th March 2010

2010-03-13T15:03:00.003+08:00

WHAT TO POST?!
I still have NO idea, LOL!
Let's post about how blue the sky is,
And how HOT Singapore is?!?!
Post about sex life??
Okay, what if ... hot countries = hot girls?
LOL!
Singapore would be ... woots!
Right, Kevin? Haha!

------------------------------------------------------------

Life have been pretty much, normal?
Been long since I have an opportunity, to stay at home and do nothing.
Watch television programme, watch movie (Mio TV), and playing comp are what I'm doing now.
Shiok? Maybe? Only if air-con are allowed to turn on in the day ... LOL!
No posts about thoughts today,
Can't think of any good ones.
Suggestions? Any? Haha (:
Would worth a try!

North East Run's tomorrow, taking part in the 5km competition.

Till then, cya guys!

11th March 2010

2010-03-11T13:55:00.000+08:00

Don't know what to post ...
Any IDEAS?! LOL!

9th March 2010 (2)

2010-03-09T07:47:00.003+08:00

9th March 2010

2010-03-09T07:28:00.004+08:00

It's 6:50am now and I just got home.
LOL!

========OFF TO BATH ================

Back! Haha! (:
Had fun today as we watched a movie today.
Kevin wanted 2 movies back to back! LOL!
After the movie, went back to Hougang and ate a super late dinner.
& I went to play pool ;DD
And followed by lan!
Haha!
Taxi-ed to Rivervale plaza, and watched Wigan vs Liverpool.
And... home sweet home.

6th March 2010

2010-03-06T01:00:00.003+08:00

They say whenever someone is on the verge of death,
They will have a sudden flashback of
Something significant to them ...
Something important to them ...
I don't know what kind of flashback I would get,
But what about you?
What would you be thinking of?

As I watched the documentary tribute for the 9/11 incident.
It truly touches one's heart.
They played all the recordings of the calls made by the victims.
Tens of them, probably a hundred.
Fear was in their voice,
But they tried to remain stern,
And even repeatedly assured the family that they're doing well.
The family on the other side,
Tried to calm them down,
Giving them instructions,
And make sure they are level-headed.

Unable to be by the side of your love ones in your dying moment,
Is hurting, it will hurt, a lot.
And listening to their voices, but yet, they were miles away.
It's saddening.

What would be the first thing to that comes up to your mind if it were to be you?

Would it be family?
The family that had always been there for you, to care for you?
The family that made you who you are,
The family that saw your first step, that saw you grown?
The family that will sacrifice everything for you?

Or would it be your friends?
That is your listening ear,
Your problem solver,
Your playmate,
Your study partner?

Or would it be your boyfriend/girlfriend,
Who always care for you,
Love you,
Dote you,
Provide a kiss,
A hug,
A consoling word?

Or it would be your teachers?
Who were like parents
Who taught you values,
And installed knowledge to your life?

Or would you think back,
And regret for the wrong things that you did?
And wanted to say sorry to everyone whom you've not treated well, unknowingly?

Or would you say some final words to yourself?
To keep to yourself the last few minutes of your life?
And to start to treasure your last few moments on earth?

Life is short.
Treasure it.
Don't learn to appreciate it and,
To regret, only when you're at your dying moments.

5th March 2010

2010-03-05T15:17:00.000+08:00

Hey all once again!
Woke up early today to have soccer with the usual clinque, this time without Gerald.
It was fun fun fun!
However, didn't played in my tip-top form today.
Accuracy just flew out of the window lol.
&& there was blood when I had a cut on my forehead when I hit against the goalpost while trying to save a shot.
(dumb, I know!)
It hurts! But I'm alright now. No concussion, no need for stitches.
(Tung Kar Wong scared the hell out of me with that)
Didn't accompany them as they go AMK hub with kevin.
Sorry guys, promised dad to reach home early, finally.

Had lunch with sis and, home sweet home!

------------------------------------------------------------------

English to Chinese??

While taking bus 83 back home from compass.
I heard a somewhat China lady saying ...
"我正在巴士上！"

Bus >> 巴士、
Taxi >> 德士

Train >> 铁士??

Logic? Anyone?

4th March 2010

2010-03-04T17:54:00.000+08:00

Hello all!
It's been long since I had a proper post I guess , :P
Been urged to post, to post, to post because my blog is going to be dead.
(It seems like blog needs to be constantly fed with posts)
Wanted to write some posts about thoughts, etc.
Sadly, I didn't have any "ling gan", next time maybe?
Haha!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Went back to school on 2nd March and gave a talk to the Secondary 3 Express students.
Nervous when giving the talk...
(Imagine 3 classes staring at you listening to your speech, it ain't easy, alright!)
Had Macdonald's BIG Breakfast thanks to Mr Ong.
Played soccer after that before loitering around in school.

That's about it.
Till next time! (:

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sidetrack a little,

Why is twitter called twitter?

Do euu haf tuh twiit lyke thiis?

LOL!

2nd March 2010

2010-03-02T23:48:00.001+08:00

============ Deleted ================

Treasure me, and I'll treasure you.

22th February 2010

2010-02-22T01:02:00.001+08:00

Deleted posts about the unknown spammer.

Added a special feature "Labels" too (:

21st February 2010

2010-02-21T02:48:00.000+08:00

All-time high visitor yesterday, LOL!
Just to clarify, I am NOT so vulgar and mean by nature, hehe.
Only fed up with that guy who is from Singapore and claim to be from EU.
The most frustrating thing was that I couldn't even find his IP address using statcounter at all.
*scratching head*
So after I found out his plot, I blasted like a ... volcano, hees.

Few more days ... TO END OF WORK! (:

12th February 2010

2010-02-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

Almost got into a quarrel with a friend of mine.

People, please, if you have a girlfriend, remain faithful.
Don't go around asking for other girl's number just because she works opposite your shop.
I know how flirtatious or how "powerful" you were when you're single.
Getting a girl number and holding her hand in the next second, and kissing after that.
So what?
As long you're attached, it's your responsibility to stay loyal and to give a sense of assurance.
You wouldn't want a girlfriend who would go around asking for people's number, would you?

&& stop denying that she called you instead.
If it weren't for you to miss call her, how would she call back?
Anyway, who wouldn't call back when he/she receives a miss call from an anonymous?
Think man, THINK!

You said she wouldn't mind.
But did you dare to tell her?
I asked him back.
What if your girlfriend were to be the one asking a guy's number who happens to work opposite her shop and started phone chats the next day?
What's his reply?
"FOR WHAT?!"
Precisely, for what did you get the other girl's number from?
In addition, his girlfriend is what a Singaporean called, "guai kia".
So what if other girls wouldn't mind if his boyfriend ask for other girl's number?
She's not any hongster, any flirters.
She's just a girl who needs someone to care and is not used to HIS boyfriend getting other girl's number.

So what if your girlfriend done things you didn't like before as well?
So?
Love is about giving in and caring.
Not revenge.
If she done things you didn't like.
And you follow suit and do things she doesn't like.
Hey, might as well break yeah?

Valentine's day coming up.
Please do not break anyone's heart.

He ended with "Aiya, you no experience don't know one lah!"
Yeah, coincidentally, I am also baffled by why men are sometimes criticised as jerks.

Bunch of bastard = reputations of men, tarnished.

10th February 2010

2010-02-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

While listening to the radio my bro turned on while trying to sleep.
I heard a song, so so familiar.
It's a song I tried to memorise in primary school times, memorising every single lyrics.

The song was,
I'm gonna be around by Micheal Learns To Rock (old song, I know)

It's been so long since we took the time
to share words from deep inside us
We're in our own world spinning our wheels
but you know how I feel

since the first time I took your hand
my love for you has just been growing
You always seem to understand
You know how I am

Chorus:
I'm gonna love you til the end
I'm gonna be your very true friend
I wanna share your ups and downs
I'm gonna be around

When you're alone cause I'm away
don't be sad don't be afraid
I'm gonna turn my thoughts to you
like I always do

Chorus:
I'm gonna love you til the end
I'm gonna be your very true friend...

Catch you when you fall
Hold you when you’re down
Sharing every moment
I wanna show you all I do
I believe I’ve found a miracle
in you

Chorus:
I'm gonna love you til the end
I'm gonna be your very true friend...

There isn't any specific reasons why I placed the lyrics here.
But I'll just laugh it off, because I remembered the reason I've stopped memorising this song is because of the part highlighted in red, I thought it was ... dirty things. LOL!!!

7th Feburary 2010

2010-02-07T23:23:00.001+08:00

Saw a post in one of my friend's blog.
He posted about friends, he singled out every one his clique individually, to thank them.
How many friends did that?
Well, this is the friend I've got.
Simple, yet meaningful.

Sometimes I wonder,
What would my life be like, without them.
Without companions to study, without a listening ear or a consoling words.

Be it studies or our personal problems,
The friends I always knew, stayed together.

To support one another through their own problems,
And also to assist each other in their academics.

There were times when each and everyone of us had problems at the same time.
But we remained strong.

And despite our own problems,
We lent a listening ear, and help to solve the problems of the other.

We also had times playing together.
Soccer? No problem!
They never failed to be my playmate.
For this, I really thank them.

We have the smart one, the top scorer.
We got the strong one, who always think positively.
We got the BIG one, who's the one who have been providing me laughter and laughter and laughter.
We got the footballer who plays unsteadily, but god, he's fantastic!
We also got the one who we often tease as a INDIAN. But actually, he's quite a nice person to talk to, a great tutor, and a funny guy LOL!

Although many of us have different characteristics.
We click together perfectly.

Without them, I wouldn't had pulled through the miserable year 2009.

Friends like this are hard to find.
I'm lucky I found mine.

2nd February 2010

2010-02-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

Hihi again!
Back from BUGIS!

Went out at 3pm in the afternoon today and reached bugis at around 3:45pm.
Shopped shopped and shopped alone, kinda fun actually.
At 5pm+, my mum came, met her outside the MRT as I need to withdraw money anyway.
So yeah, went to shop shop shop, AGAIN!
Showed her what I've found nice.
And to my amazement, she liked what I liked.
Oh god, does that means that she have good taste? Or do I have a taste similar to a mother?
Please say it's the former, lol ^^
Had KFC with her before boarding the train back home (:

In the end,
Bought 4 shirts and a black jeans (finally).
Yay, strike out another section of the wishlist LOL!
And to the HORROR of Kar Wong and co, one of the shirt is a Liverpool JERSEY!
Aha!
I'll be sure to wear it on the next soccer outing !
Wait, and see. LOL!

That's it,
Short, and swwweeeeettt!

2th February 2010

2010-02-02T11:05:00.000+08:00

Hihi!
It's my off day today, gees!
Working life for 26 more days ( minus 4 off days minus 2 new year day ) and I'm left with 20 more days!
Hehe!

So far so good for life,

Thought about many many things but failed to post lol.
And guess what?
I bought an ankle weight @ $33.90! (Yay! another strike off at the wishlist!)
Gonna use that for jogging/soccer!!

Miss days like this slacking at home, doing nothing.
I learnt to appreciate this :P

Anyway, I dreamt of Kar Wong and some friends ask me questions through the net. (The one right above the tagboard)

Oh well ... post another time ...

29th January 2010

2010-01-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

Many are enjoying life right now, stress-less.
While some are just beginning to adapt life in a new college ...

Did you had moodswings and attitude problems before exams?
And not to mention, the "O'Levels"?

I'm not someone who will go up directly to a person to say thanks for giving in, thanks for being there, or thanks for enduring all my stupid attitudes.
But I am going to post about what I personally feel.

Stress stress and stress.
That's the only word people used to describe in their final year of Secondary school.
They forgot the word, "moodswings".
I spoke to a friend yesterday on the bus, and he told me about his moodswings before the exam.
It caught me by surprise, because I thought I was the only one having absurd mood.

I admit, I did had a moodswing, especially in the second half of the year.
Perhaps, we did.
I remembered scolding my family to leave me alone, and got irritated by minor things.
I remembered giving my friends unbearable attitudes, reprimanding them.
I remembered quarreling over some stuffs, or even quarrel to ease the stress.
It was, afterall, the pressure and stress that we've never been through before.

Now it had all been over, did those few months of selfish attitude ever crossed your mind?
It did, for me, it did.
I'm guilty of it.
If you'd ever saw my previous blog, I posted tons and tons of crazy nonsense, crazy arguments.
During that period of time, it's not only our worse period of time, it was, also, the worse period for our families and friends.
However, they endured it.
They didn't ignored me, or even don't care about me.
When I had problems, my friends were still the one for me, listening to all my craps, my problems.
My friends didn't leave me, not a single one of them.
Before my exam day, my family told me to relax, and that there's no pressure. Although the brought me to temples, they didn't gave me any pressure at all, even though I know they're worried, perhaps, more than I was.
On the result day, my sister rushed immediately after lesson, just to look at my result.

Thinking back, if every single one of them fades away or doesn't care about you.
We wouldn't have any friends, and families would have been miles apart from heart.

They, our families and friends brought us through those tiring journeys.
And no matter how well or how badly we did for our tests, they'll still be happy for us.
On the other hand, did we, really deserve their unselfishness?
After all we've done to them?
Perhaps not.
But, they did.

Perhaps this was a gift from god.
To find our true friends, and to appreciate our families more.
I'm happy I've found mine.
I found friends who will never leave you no matter how bad your attitude is.
As well as a family, who had all gave me their continuous support, and bearing all my stupid nonsense I could ever came out with.
I love them.
I do, although I'll never say that out loud.

I would like to thank all my friends and family.
This may not be a good post, but I thank you, deep down my heart for everything.

13th January 2010

2010-01-13T13:58:00.000+08:00

Many got their result 2 days ago.
But no matter what result they got, they should thank their friends, their families, and not forgetting, their teachers.

We moaned and complained and even attempted to create a list of signatures to rebel the system.
But nevertheless, we did all we ought to do.
Going home no earlier than 6pm, exhausted, no facebooking late at night anymore,
Sounds familiar?
Yes, we've been through it.

Teachers, are people who're somewhat not related to us, at all.
They're just doing their job, and we're just students.
Like what some teachers may say.
No matter how bad or how good you did, it wouldn't affect the teachers at all.
They get their pay as usual.
And on the other hand, our future may be affected by this result.
I know, many will say they got their bonus.
So what? I asked myself.
Do you work your socks out all year, just to get a thousand or two of bonus?
No, it's the passion, it's the sense of responsibility.

Through our four or five years in secondary school life, we didn't see the teachers working as hard as they did in our last year.
Standing tens of minutes at the photocopier machine just to photocopy worksheets, test papers for us.
We don't see that.
But they did, I know, my sister witnessed it.
"Wow, Mr *** very hardworking hor? Always see him photocopying worksheets, his table end up so messy!"
A teacher can give so many many many many mathematics exam papers, worksheets to us that we ourselves cannot even keep it tidy.
Can you imagine the teacher himself?
He worked hard, believe me.
He even told me that day in facebook before result day that he could've done more, but he didn't have enough time.
He WANTS to help us, to improve us, he WANTED to do more, he could, and if there's more time, I'm sure he'll give all he can to us.

We also had teachers who brings joy to our classroom.
Occasional jokes, chats, together with a more interesting way in teacher lesson makes a whole world of difference.
It was no longer a dull lesson without interaction.
We learn substitution in chemistry so much more fun with all those molecular model and together with the humourous sound effect made by teacher.
It's not their job to make lesson interesting.
They only need to teach, that's all.
But no, they bring so much more joy to the lesson so that we can learn better in a more engaging method of teaching.
They don't just want to do their job.
They want us to excel as well.

When we had our result,
Almost all the teachers were there.
Even teachers who've left the school this year came back, specially just to know how well we did.
After knowing there was a 100% passes in the subject she was teaching.
There's were tears of joy in her eyes.
You could've seen it.
She was no longer the fierce teacher we knew.
The stern one, who always pinpoint our mistakes, and give an air of pressure every time she went into the class.
But instead, she was jumping with joy.
Celebrating and congratulating with the students, whom all had passes.
Sometimes, it's just another side of a teacher that we often failed to spot.
She was the one who helped greatly in our oral.
She was also the one who pushed us all the way, giving us works, commenting on our handwriting.
I will remember what she said on that day,
She said, "This is the best batch I'll ever had".

We also had our form teachers, who cared not only for only academic, but also our problems.
He console our friends when they're down, and solved every little problem we messed up.
He was also the one who care not only for a student, but a class as a whole.
He spent hours and extra remedial lesson just to spend more time teaching his students.
He stayed back during recess and his own free hours just to clarify any things we don't know.
Organising events, check.
Bringing fun and laughter to class, check.
Giving ideas, check.
Counseling, check.
Interaction, check.
Caring, check.
Staying back, check.
No slacking, check.
Great teacher, check.

There are also teachers who taught physics in a more relaxing manner.
He planned everything nicely all the way until the O level day.
Even though there was no pressure in his lesson, we learn as much.
Laughing at all his dirty jokes, all his bloppers, it brought so much joy to the class.
He didn't totally depend on powerpoint.
He taught by action, too.
I remembered a particular lesson whereby he intentionally dropped his laptop bag to show us gravity.
Which teacher would've done that?
He did.

There is also a teacher who taught us about the wars, conflicts, and history of Singapore.
The teacher who gave us tons of tons of SEQs to do, and worst still, SBQs.
She was happy when we got our result.
Just a few turns before getting my result, she tapped me, and said thanks and shook my hands.
She said thanks.
She said thanks.
She said thanks.
I should've thank her instead.

Another female teacher is the one who are just like our friend.
Telling us to write composition, letter, etc.
She never failed to talk to us nicely.
She had a smile that never fades away every time she went into the classroom.
She praises when students did well, and provide support and help to people who needs guidance.
During the result day, she congratulated people who've improved after retaking their Mother Tongue.
A happy teacher that day.

He is also a Liverpool fan who taught about maps, development, forest, etc.
We talked about Liverpool, and we even drove us to the Singapore vs Liverpool match together with my friends.
Does teachers do that?
No, he looked more like a friend to me instead.
He made us laugh almost every time with his small little jokes and pranks.
He organised a "mini remedial" with my friends and I at the nearby Punggol Plaza.
Although he made us copy a lot, he congratulated people who've done well with smiles written on his face.

The last but not least is our level dean.
Fierce, and always pushing us to reach our goal.
Extra remedials, night study, POA external remedials and many more were all organised by him single handed-ly.
He even placed his head on the chopper board by saying he'll quit if we failed to perform in our O Levels.
He shows appreciation for students who've worked well and encouraged the rest.
And not forgetting, he promised he'll build statues of every one of us when we got gold valued added result.

Instead of saying "new year, new me", sometimes I believe we should think back, and appreciate those who've made us who we are today.

5th January 2010

2010-01-05T22:52:00.001+08:00

Just came back from work and came across this facebook group named "25 things that girls don't realise".

Here are the 25 things ...

1. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about....

2. Guys are more emotional then you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer then you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

5. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

6. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are.

7. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

8. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

9. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

10. Guys love you more than you love them

11. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot.

12. No matter how much guys talk about whats on the outside, personalityis key.

13. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant but some know that it was just prolly nothing so if it is supposed to mean something then make that meaning noticable so that they can react on the spot.

14. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

15.If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something

16. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

17.When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me

18. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

19. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

20. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

22. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

23.NOT ALL GUYS ARE JACKASSES
Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of them

24.When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible

25.Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life

I believe this is written by a female cause I think some of them is not true (in my case).
However, it's subjective.
And guess what...?

I've posted for the day!!! ^^

The last straw ...

31st December 2011

“There’s only one thing that matters: companionship."- Play The Game

"Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."- Why Dogs Don't Live Long

24th December 2011

21st November 2011

18th October 2011

25th September 2011

17th September 2011

18 August 2011

5th July 2010

28th June 2011

25th June 2011

21st June 2011

If you want to win the game of love , maybe you should stop playing games with women .- Andy Griffith , "Play The Game"

11th June 2011

8th May 2010

7th April 2011

formspring.me

21st March 2011

31st December 2010

17th December 2010

16th December 2010

27th November 2010

22nd November 2010

12th November 2010

8th November 2010

4th November 2010

3rd November 2010

29th October 2010

29th October 2010

20th October 2010

17th October 2010 (2)

17th October 2010

30th September 2010

25th September 2010

23rd September 2010

21st September 2010

16th September 2010

10th September 2010

8th September 2010

16th August 2010

12th August 2010

Never change yourself for the sake of others. For people may come and go, but you will always be you.

11th August 2010

10th August 2010

5th August 2010

29th July 2010

26th July 2010

25th July 2010

Why isn't anyone asking you questions?

16th July 2010

9th July 2010

2nd July 2010

26th June 2010

23rd June 2010

22nd June 2010

20th June 2010

11th June 2010

7th June 2010

6th June 2010

3rd June 2010

29th May 2010

25th May 2010

23rd May 2010

21st May 2010

19th May 2010

17th May 2010

12th May 2010 (The Final Memories..)

10th May 2010

6th May 2010

2nd May 2010

28th April 2010

27th April 2010

18th April 2010 (The day before Poly life starts)

16th April 2010

15th April 2010

9th April 2010

8th April 2010

6th April 2010

“There’s only one thing that matters: companionship."

- Play The Game

"Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

- Why Dogs Don't Live Long

If you want to win the game of love , maybe you should stop playing games with women .
- Andy Griffith , "Play The Game"