27th February 2011

Ever felt bothered ?
Ever missed someone , and missing the moments you spent together ?
But not wanting to voice them out , or to type them out , in fear that it would remind you again ?

I have .
And thus , this is a post with no real details .
Just reminiscence , pure reminiscence .

It came through my mind when I was listening to songs .
Songs , that remind us of the past .

I believe many people have stuff kept deep in our heart .
Things , that probably no one knows , or perhaps , entirely know .

Don't blame these people when they refuse to tell .
I mean , it's good to tell , to share , to let people know how you think .
Sharing , is when you're at the initial stage of lost .
However , you got to move on at some point in time , cause you've grown tired of explaining .
Besides , how would anyone understand relationships through ... words ?
It's a feeling , that perhaps no one on earth would understand , except you . With said , it's you who experienced it .
Feeling , they say , is what expressed from the heart .
But everyone has different feeling for different situation .
& Truth to be told , no one would feel exactly the same . They could only understand .

And the worst part of all ,
Is that every little thing reminds them of the past .
Be it songs , movie , places , recollection , words , or even similar faces .
And they don't just forget the reminder of the past in a blink of an eye .
It stays in their mind , at least , at least for some time .
The feeling of not knowing whether the person still thinks the same way , whether the person's aches like you do .
And kind of kept in the dark , 'cause there's no way you could ask "Are you missing me ?"
You could only wish and pray and hope from the rise to the dawn of the sun .

I mean , I'm bemused of how strangers becomes friend , and so much more than friends , and against your wishes , become strangers out of a sudden .
It isn't always because either one party agrees .
Sometimes , both parties doesn't want this to happen , and that's where it hurts .
And when both parties know how deep and unforgettable the relationship is , it's a dagger to the heart .

Maybe , maybe this is why people are afraid to get close to people .
I used to think it was silly to push people away .
I mean , would you rather be alone ? My answer was no .
But years does not only changes your hair to grey , it changes your thinking .
Getting close is good , for sure , for anyone who had one .
But sometimes , the hurt prevents you from committing again .
It's like a lesson learn . Once bitten , twice shy .
What if you commit again , and it bites back .
Many readers might be amused by my thinking .
But so they say , you got to experience things , before you understand it .
From years , I've acquired these knowledge , and acquired , too , sadly , the fear of committing .

For all the time , the effort , the commitment , the sacrifices you made going to waste in a blink of eye .
Turning into dust , ashes , atoms you couldn't even see .
Perhaps , that's when you start to realise , "I'm tired" .

I'm never a pessimist ,
And to make it clear , this post have no means of pessimistic .
It's just thoughts , and things , that probably puzzled people when they haven't been through them .
& I want people to know that sometimes you think you know enough of that person .
But probably you just don't .
So don't lay conclusion on others like you know their story .
Have you been through it ? Have you experienced it ? Do you know anything about it ?
If you don't , you probably need to , before you start opening your mouth and lay your needless opinion on others .

31st December 2011

“There’s only one thing that matters: companionship."

- Play The Game

The dog came running into my room while I was having my dinner today night .
He jumped up onto the table using his front legs , and I pushed him off firmly .
Little did I expect him to lose footing , and his jaw knocked onto the corner of the table with a loud "thud" .
I panicked , & quickly checked on him



He didn't budged , he wasn't angry . He just looked at me with those wide eyes .
I'm glad he's fine .



There are some traits in life that we see in persons .
Somewhere along the line of caring , faithfulness , and honesty .
But almost 2 years with Toufu made me realised what a trait a dog has that could have been perfect , if it were in human .

Yes , you may say he would be terrible being a human .
Following everyone around , pooing & peeing in public , barking , and furthermore , he can't speak .
I've seen it ,
In fact , my dog was one of the most unfriendliest dog to strangers , almost putting me to shame when he never fails to bark at passing strangers .
But I've seen a side of him that no one does .
And truth to be told , I believe it is apparent in all dogs .

I could explain tons and tons of traits ,
But what made him benefit is "live in the moment" attitude .
He bears no grudges , he holds no anger .
Noticed he didn't reacted angrily when he knocked against the table . I was the one who pushed him off .
But trust me , if he were to be a talking dog , he wouldn't even remember it 10 minutes later .
It's a "Let bygones be bygones" mentality , or the "Forgive and forget" phrase that seems ever so difficult to embrace in human life .
In fact , I did many things to him that would put any human to instant rage .
He didn't .
He didn't make me look like a bad owner when I did mistakes .
He just accept my touch of apology , and move on like it never happened .
Man's best friend , he's often relate to .
But to me , he's definitely my best companion .
Yes , he couldn't give advice when I need any .
But the fact that he could be ever so happy just simply to be with you , and his forward looking attitude makes him stand out beyond the scope of my view in life .

"Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four-year-old continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

- Why Dogs Don't Live Long

He taught me things .
And the purpose of this post is to pass on what I've learnt to the rest .





In the coming year , perhaps , just perhaps , live life with a little more of an open mind.
Forgiving people and living in the moment , could just make your life that much happier .

24th December 2011

It's the eve of Christmas .
How are you guys preparing to start off Christmas after midnight ?

I ain't no celebrator of Christmas , as my parents aren't used to the custom .
"We're not Christian" , so they say .

So on and on without Christmas I am .
But it might as well turn out to be a blessing in disguise , I'm currently broke (its not a very good thing to say during festive periods, I know)


Nonetheless , a Merry Christmas to everyone ! (:

21st November 2011

"Things will get worse before they get better, but when they do, remember who put you down & who helped you up."

I have my fair share of ups and downs in life ,
And of course , some put me down , and some helped me up .
This is dedicated to those , who helped me up .
Those whom I've never spoken publicly of my gratitude ,
& those who stood always stood by , by my side .


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How many friends you have in life ?
Does it really matter , the quantity ?
So they say , "Its the quality that counts , not the quantity".
& what Standard Chartered puts it perfectly , "Sometimes what counts in life , cannot be counted"
Perhaps this doesn't apply in the business world , where your social networking is vital in every aspect .
But how about in life ?
I am glad I have friends , quality friends .
& this , in particular , is dedicated to those who dressed in suits not dresses , in boots not high heels .
'Cause they are the one who doesn't stand in the spotlight , but those who helped me up without hesitant . True friends .


I am not one who speaks about his problem often , if not , every time .
Instead , I am those who keeps it , the one who needs no extra attention because of his problems .
Unless it is beyond my tolerance , I would only say it to those I really trust .
But there is this group of friends who were always there .
They were my friends when I was at my deepest point , and they didn't failed to do what a friend needs to do .

Don't get it ?
Look ,
I wasn't the guy who speaks his problem publicly ,
But here is this group of guys who do it the way a man would do .
They didn't do anything .
Strange as it may be ,
They are a funny bunch of guys ,
Who never failed to make you smile on every meeting .
It lighten my mood up with a pinch of laughter , and closeness when needed .

There were times when I almost lost everyone else who were close to me ,
& when I said "almost" , it was because it was them who stayed .
I wondered how my life would be , if they weren't a bunch of friends this close to me .

Don't misunderstand me ,
Believe me , when I need an advice , they would always be readily available to me .
They may sense something wasn't right by the way I post on blogger , twitter , or facebook .
But they didn't probe , and when they do , they do it right .

I'm glad I know them since Secondary School , where people in my life come and go . And at some moment , all left . Except family and those above-mentioned .

It wasn't a typical man way to speak openly about such gratitude ,
& if it weren't for this blog , I wouldn't have done this .

I'm glad I have them ,
They may not know who they are ,
But they would've guessed it .
They may not view this blog often ,
But believe me , they would occasionally .

A dedication , for those who didn't leave .

18th October 2011

Nothing to do really .
Sitting in front of a laptop in the kitchen with basically nothing .
Comp covered with plastic .
Guess what ? Yes , air-con installation .
Apparently the old one spoilt ( Hey ! The one in my room was working well , only my dad and sis's room :( )

So yeah , I'm here .
First time coming into blogger with technically nothing to blog about .
Bored .
Things happened and things happened .
Complications and complications .
But I'm tired to elaborate about myself .
Let it be ~ Let it be ~ *starts singing*
Haha .

25th September 2011

It's 12:57am in Shanghai ,
Just came back to hostel not long ago .

1 hour ago ,
I was taking off my contact lens , preparing to bathe .

After a hectic day of fun , joy laughter , and not forgetting lots of shopping .
I was exhausted , & I can't wait to bathe .
It was when I misplaced my contact .

I remembered placing my contact lens into my , what do you call that ? The thing where you put your contact lens in .
After taking out both contacts ,
Perhaps lucky , or sixth sense , I checked again to ensure that the contact lens is there .

To my amusement , it was not .
And I fiddled and fumbled trying to find it .
To cut the long story short ,
I found it after 10 minutes .

It was a moment of happiness , and I went to bathe immediately .

The sense of happiness continued during the bath ,
But a sudden thought came to my mind .


The contact lens was mine to start with ,
So why feel happy when I found what was mine ?

So what am I heading in this post ?

In life , we believe that some things are ours , and only ours .
We believe that it wouldn't be lost , much less being owned by somebody else .
This led to complacency and taking things for granted .
Tracking back to my case , I didn't thought I would lose my contact lens .
In fact , it was my last pair .

In reality ,
Nothing is really ours .
Your boyfriend , your girlfriend ? Your friends ?
I mean , they can be loyal to you , truthful to you .
But its a mutual continuation , commitment , faithfulness that keeps the relationship going .
And finally , the concept of not taking them for granted .
Because if you did , they may never be "yours" .

Its 1:18am ,
I blogged because I have the feel to .
But my tiredness is getting over me .

Heading to bed .
But I would like to leave a message .

Never take anything for granted .




P.S : Goodnight .

17th September 2011

Didn't know why you crossed my mind recently .
From the week before I came China ,
To today , I'm in China .

I remembered the night before I go ,
I wrote a long message to you , long enough to reach the message limit .
Your reply was no more than a sentence .
Looking back at my message , you made me look like a fool .

We were not couple ,
Yet we're so close to one another , we're siblings . Be it godsister and godbrother .
My Secondary School friends gone through with me the stage when we were close .
So they know how much you meant to me .

But strangely ,
You were right .
No one could understand our kinship , unless those who witnessed it .
I tried explaining to my Polytechnic friends ,
But their response was a weird expression , together with "I don't know why you would want to have an unofficial godsister/godbrother"
I dismissed it as their perspective .
But this is what made our kinship so special , I guess .

No one , no one , could understand the depth .

2 years just isn't enough for me to forget someone whom I've been so close with , for 5 years .

But I will ,
'Cause I know I'm not missing you .
I'm missing the memories , the closeness , the kinship , the stupid little things I made , and the girl whom you used to be .